WWZ Drabbles
by skipperxotter
Summary: 52. Basic Rule 1 "If moans, shoot it, if it screams for help afterwards, your aim is off." drabbles, rated for occasional squick and unfortunate implications and language
1. Z

**I do not own The Zombie Survival Guide or World War Z. or Rorschach from Watchmen.**

**Random little drabbles on some equally random prompts. More to come. **

**Never surrender, never. Not even in the face of Armageddon. **

**_+_+_+_**

**I. Bird's Eye View**

Running, big mistake, but panic overrides common sense, he's heading right into a wall of G. Being able to see everything from the air really sucks sometimes. .

**II. Stories**

Someone has been here, from the footprints, they just left recently. Can't blame them, there are more G here than I've seen in the last few days. Seems like whoever was living here tried to attract all the G in the area and pick them off as they came. From the reports of the search teams, the defenders ran out of ammo and got over run. Well...no point worrying over it, got to sweep the area.

**III. Fun**

Steel gleaming, splattered with blood and brains. Careful, can't get dirty, blood carries infection. Fun, so much fun. Fun, can't be blamed for killing. Fun, fun fun.

**IV. 21**

"On three. One, two, three-" 21 rifles fire, morbidly ironic salute to the infected soldiers, as they kill themselves before they can turn.

**V. Tag**

"COME ON MAGGOTS, LET'S PLAY A FRIENDLY GAME OF TAG WITH ZACK. HEADSHOTS MEAN THAT ZACK IS TAGGED OUT!"

**VI. Creative Use of School Supplies (I)**

"Okay…This is officially the first time I've ever seen someone use a plastic ruler to kill a G."

**VII. Rat**

"What's for dinner?"

"Rat. What else?"

"Can we have something different? Like chicken? We've had rat for so long that I've forgotten what chicken tastes like."

**VIII. Resident Evil**

"….I'm so glad that we don't have zombie dogs, or sharks for that matter."

**IX. Brains**

"…Aren't zombies only supposed to eat brains? Why the Hell do Zed Heads eat flesh? It doesn't make any sense."

**X. Idiot**

"…Dude, it's dead already. You can stop stabbing it you know."

**XI. Overkill Y/Y?**

"Okay…I understand dismembering and burning the G after hitting it with a Cherry PIE, BUT IS THE EXSORCISM REALLY NEEDED?!"

**XII. Knives**

"…Dude, you need a better knife than that if you want to kill G. Like…a butcher knife or something."

**XIII. Boring**

"After a while, shooting G gets really boring. Can we go out and smash their heads in with the Lobo or something? Just for a chance of pace."

"No."

**XIV. Physics**

"…I understand that Zack can't feel anything, but seriously. That G must have been 600 pounds when it was alive, HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT THING WALK?"

**XV. Creepy**

"Hey, kid. Sarge wants everyone outside in 5. We got a mission."

"_Enh. Good. Been bored. Ran out of G to kill around here. Right, be out in 5." _

"…Sarge, are you sure that kid isn't related to Rorschach?"**  
**


	2. O

**I do not own The Zombie Survival Guide or World War Z.**

**Random little drabbles on some equally random prompts. Need more prompts. **

**There is no spoon.**

**_+_+_+_**

**21. Honor**

"Tonight we celebrate the lives of those who have fallen to free our country and save our future! Tonight, we honor the brave souls who have fought against the undead blight! Tonight, we remember what it means to be human! To life, liberty, and justice for all!"

**22. Murder**

This isn't the work of a G, it's undeniably the work of a human. Even now, when we can't spare a single person, there are murderers stalking in the shadows. It isn't right, but the world is never fair. Suck it up soldier, life goes on.

**23. Animal**

It's fascinating, the single minded determination that zombies have. They just want to eat and eat and eat. The most basic drive of any living creature. The desire to eat others, how…admirable.

**24. Stupid Last Words**

"Did you hear something?"

**25. Necromancy**

Using magic to control the dead? Ah, as fucking if. Bet all those psychos got eaten, that's why there aren't any necromancers any more. Funny.

**26. Fire**

"Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuure, just set damn thing on fire and let it wander around, setting other things on fire, till it can't walk. Really brilliant, really fucking brilliant."

**27. Scent**

The smell of the undead is bearable, a not quite rancid sort of stench, like sour pork and moldy tomatoes. You get used to it fast.

**28. Am Not Happy**

Fallen through the floor of shitty apartment complex that squad was ordered investigate. Damn floor, will kill the carpenter for not reinforcing the beams. Ehn…kill carpenter later, escape basement full of G first.

**29. Creation**

"What the Hell have you made?"

"The unifier of mankind, the key to a world of peace. It will cleanse the evil from our souls, turning the foolish and unworthy into walking reminders of what will no longer be tolerated."

3**0. Mainframe**

_Server 0990: Error detected_

…_simulation error, Human dead = alive_

…_Does not compute_

_Rebooting…_

_Error erased, program fixed._

**31. Plants**

It's ironic. The plant known as the "Living dead", cause of its lack of roots, eats zombies. Not kidding. Like something out of a movie. G wanders by, tentacles come out, plant eats G. Possible space alien? Must investigate further.

**32. Boom**

"Explosives are rather pointless against the Undead. So stop making pipe bombs. The pipes are more valuable by themselves."

**33. Medicine**

"You know what?"

"What?"

"Now these days, I actually hope that my doctor is better at killing things than at healing me."

**34. Elements**

"If I could control an element, it would totally be fire! Cause then I could just burn the G and never have to worry about running out of ammo again."

"_Mrnh…Stupid. Can't make fire if wet. Wet G don't burn. Idiot."_

"You don't have to be so mean Rust."

"_Ehn…"_

**35. Shopping**

Shopping has never been easier! Don't have to pay, just grab what you want and go! Be sure to bring a large wheeled transport of your precious goods. And a weapon, Zed Heads like to hide indoors.

**36. Jewelry**

"…_Ehm…"_

"Huh? For me? Thanks Rust, you're a sweetheart."

(short distance away)

"That is so not fair."

"Hey, the guy knows what a chick wants, suck it up Johnny."

"How was I supposed to know that she rather have a hunting knife?"

**37. Books**

Hard cover books make great weapons. Especially when you drop them on a Zed-Head from 3 stories up. Fun, fun, fun.

**38. Choices**

"Here is your choice, you can either be in the Northern Army or the Southern Army. The difference is that the North has to sweep each area three times, but the South has to deal with swamps. Take your pick."

**39. Color**

"The new BDUs should be dark blue."

"Why? We don't have enough resources to spend on making a dye factory for BDUs. The uncolored versions work just as well as the colored versions."

"Navy blue doesn't show blood stains. Plus, it an outfit that resembles a uniform will raise moral."

**40. Weddings.**

Getting married. Oh yeah, big event yes? A lot of fun, especially when the bride and groom are dressed up in BDUs and are hosting a "Katana only" Zack killing contest instead of the traditional ceremony. My money is on the bride.


	3. M

**I do not own WWZ or The Walking Dead or The Zombie Survival Guide or TF2.**

**46. refers to the strategy of using live animals to attract G. **

**The Walking Dead is a great comic. Very realistic. Love it. Yes.**

**Come to the dark side, we have coffee. **

**_+_+_+_**

**41. The Walking Dead**

"_Don't complain. Not like The Walking Dead. Non-infected don't come back after death. Cheer up."_

"Rust, the fact that you're trying to cheer me up means we're in big trouble. So shut up and get back to killing the damn G before they eat us all."

"_Ehn…'kay."_

**42. Squishy**

Oh yes, they're squishy, and stinky, and gross! Any little boy would love to have one of them for a toy. Call now to order your very own G! Ball gag not included.

"…_What."_

"…You want to call the Lt. about this poster or burn the company to the ground, kill all the employees, and then call the Lt."

"_Second one."_

"Thought so."

**43. Puffer Fish**

"Eating fugu will _not_ turn you into a zombie you moron, if you happen to eat tainted fugu you'll just die. Which I personally would not mind."

**44. Rations**

"If we run out of food, I vote that we eat Johnny first."

"WHAT?! WHY NOT RUST?"

"Sorry private, but Rust is too skinny, not to mention a better shot than you."

"…_Pfth. Not skinny."_

**45. Creative Use of School Supplies (II)**

Graphing calculators, they make them heavy for a reason. Be sure to have the cover plate on before smashing in a G's head, getting zombie goo on the screen might impede your ability to take midterms and finals.

**46 Chihuahuas**

"_Sarge. What are you doing?"_

"Hm? Sniping Zed Heads."

"_What are you using as bait? Makes lots of noise, can't sleep."_

"Sorry 'bout that Rust. It's my sister's Chihuahua by the way."

"_She doesn't know."_

"Yup. You know, I used to hate the little purse-rat, but know it's kinda growing on me."

"_Heh, same here."_

**47. Tadpoles**

Humans are like frogs, we start out as helpless little tadpoles and slowly grow into adults. Zack on the other hand, grows straight from helpless to dangerous the moment it re-opens its eyes.

**48. Silk**

A pointless material now, too much work for too little profit. Silkworms are used as food, fed to the meager livestock that have survived the Walking Blight. Sad, but eventually, someone will make silk again.

**49. Shovel**

"WELCOME TO THE ORDER OF THE SHOVEL MAGGOTS! SHOVEL IS THE ONLY WEAPON YOU NEED. ALL HAIL SHOVEL!"

"_Ehn…someone's been playing too much TF2."_

**50. Laugh**

"You know you've cracked when you start laughing during G burnings."

**51. Punish**

Whipping is back in fashion, and all those BDSM kinks have new jobs as law enforcers.

**52. Basic Rule (1)**

"If moans, shoot it, if it screams for help afterwards, your aim is off."

**53. Fishing**

If you go fishing, bring a buddy, a shotgun, and ride in a big boat.

**54. Cake**

"Get cake he says, just run down to the store and grab some cakes from the snack shelves. DID HE FORGET THAT THE DAMN STORE IS FILLED WITH G?"

"_Meh…complain later, get to base first. Ho-oh's are mine by the way."_

**55. Vitamins**

You know, vitamins do not protect against 'African Rabies'. So stop taking so many supplements, I swear you'll going to end up fossilized one day.l

**56. Block**

Oh yes, block off all the passage ways in an out of your fort. Idiot, what the Hell are you going to do if you get overrun?

**57. Birds**

There aren't any more great flocks, all those geese that used to fly up to Alaska to spend the summer? All gone. Used to be thousands of them, all molting their feathers at the same time. Zack got them, all of them, it's a real pity.

**58. Coffee**

"I wish sometimes, that the coffee plantations were still growing coffee."

"_Rather have chocolate. And tea. No one makes them anymore. Too much work. Chocolate, can live without, but I really miss tea."_

"I know what you mean Rust. I know what you mean."

**59. Why Me?**

"Hey, what is that?"

"…_That?" _

"Yah."

"_HOLY SHIT, CHAINSWARM. ALERT HQ NOW, STARE LATER_."

"Is that a problem?"

"_Fucking noobs."_

**60. Baby**

There is nothing worse than a baby G. Nobody wants to step forward and kill it, even though it's just as dangerous as an adult G. The usual method is to dig a pit that the G can't crawl out of, dump it in, douse it in some flammable substance, and set it on fire. Nobody can point fingers, but everyone still feels shame .


	4. B

**I do not own WWZ, TF2, or Star Wars**

**I need more prompts.**

**MiniFruitbat: Thanks for the reviews, lulz. :3**

**And for those that may be confused. AGN stands for Army Group North in the book. AGS is what I assume that the Southern Army group is called. I may be wrong, feel free to correct me.**

**Resistance is Futile**

**_+_+_+_**

**61. Vampires**

Which one do you think is more bad-ass; albino, sparkly, overgrown mosquitoes or the cannibalistic reanimated corpse of your mother-in-law?

**62. Vultures**

"_No more vultures any more. Not enough food. Birds can't eat Z-flesh. One time, saw vulture eating corpse, so hungry, didn't notice G walking up behind, got eaten. Made me laugh."_

"You have one morbid sense of humor Rust."

**63. IT'S A TRAP!**

"Man, that is one fucking hot girl."

"…_Jonny, that is a boy."_

**64. Bamboo**

It grows fast, pandas eat it, and in a pinch it makes one awesome ass spear.

**65. Cat**

If any species actually took the Walking Blight in stride, it was the cats. To them, Zack and the Average Joe are interchangeable, so no big deal.

**66. Quisling**

Got transferred to the unit that rehabilitates Quisling. I don't get paid enough to deal with this crap.

**67. Veteran**

"In 'Nam taking a walk through a patch of elephant grass might mean that you would step into some trap and lose a leg or an arm. Used to see guys walking around missing a limb or two. Tough times back then."

"…I have no sympathy for you. You never had to deal with Zack."

**68. Acid**

Sad though it is, science has not yet found an acid capable of completely dissolving human bone and flesh in less than 10 seconds. Which sucks, cause it would be so much fun run around killing Zack with water guns.

**69. FYI**

"There is a G behind you."

**70. Mommy**

Sorry, screaming for mommy isn't going to save you this time.

**71. Basic Rule (2 AGN)**

"Wearing snow spikes is a must. Plus, they have the added benefit of smashing open any frozen Zed Heads that you accidentally walk on."

**72. Basic Rule (2 AGS)**

"When someone shouts 'Look out below', you better be looking down."

**73. Window**

"Hey Rust? Rust where are you?!"

"_Look down."_

"…How the Hell did you…?"

"_Shut up and help me. Threw G out window. G held on. Fell out window as well."_

"Where is the G?"

"_See the spot down there? Yah that. Heh heh…"_

"I can't decide whether to be impressed that you threw a G out of window or freaked out by the fact that you're hanging on to the window frame three stories down with nothing but a crowbar."

"_Less talking, more helping."_

"Right…"

**74. Moron**

"You know, my uncle used to keep a couple of G chained up in his basement. I went down there once and there was all this dry white stuff on the floor. The next day, I left his house and joined the army."

"_Ehn…smart choice."_

"…Huh? Anegel why did you leave and what does Rust mean?"

"_..._Let's not go into that._"_

"_Good idea."_

"Huh?"

**75. Lemon***

When life give you lemons, make a slingshot out of surgical tubing and use the lemons as ammo.

**76. Chainsaws**

Only for dumbasses and those with a death wish.

**77. Australia****

The Australians didn't have trouble with the Zombie War. Why? Cause they're so used to dealing with deadly creatures that adding one more to the list isn't a problem. Besides, all Snipers are Australian.

**78. The Force**

"I sense a disturbance in the Force. Oh wait, it's just the all the animals in the area have gone silent. Muster up boys! It's G hunting time."

**79. Taboo**

Never tell an AGN grunt that the AGS are better.

Never tell an AGS grunt that the AGN are better.

Unless you have a death wish of course.

**80. Kids**

"Hey Rust? Do you think I would make a good father?"

"..._What."_

"I mean, we need to repopulate the world after this."

"_No."_

"Why not?"

"_Can't get laid if G bites your crotch. Sex daydreams later, fight now."_

**_+_+_+_**

*** A slingshot made of surgical tubing can send an orange through a plane of glass 50 feet away and keep going. Frozen oranges go farther. **

**** Reference to the TF2 Sniper**


	5. I

**I do not own WWZ/Silent Hill/Star Wars/Basement Cat**

**Don't believe in yourself! Believe in me who can kill G!**

**_+_+_+_**

**81. Silent Hill**

"If we had Pyramid Head on our side, we would totally kick Zack ass."

**82. Mercy**

On the field, mercy is a swig of vodka and a handshake before your partner blows your head off.

**83. Sweet**

In between the battles and manly bragging, there are tender moments. A rough hug, a pat on the shoulder, praise for a young soldier. Just little reminders that humanity lives on.

**84. Insanity**

"Stop worrying about whether you're losing your mind or not. If you've lost your mind, then this is all a hallucination which means you're safe. If you're sane, that is a gift all in itself in this world."

**85. Jedi**

"Lightsabers are totally awesome. Can I have one?"

**86. Cruelty**

"_Before joining army. One time saw group of Separatists. Where keeping other people trapped in a pit. No food, little water. Something about punishing liberals. Gave them a choice. Eat each other or eat Z-flesh. Still haunts me." _

**87. Aliens**

Somewhere in the universe, there is probably some alien wondering why their 'mutated homo sapien' ant farm hasn't arrived.

**88. Heaven**

"If there is a Heaven, when I die I'm going to show up at the Pearly Gates give God and his angel buddies the middle finger, and then go to Hell and pitch G into flaming pits for all eternity. Why? Cause I'm happiest when killing G."

**89. Compromise**

There is no compromising with a G, either it dies, or you die.

**90. Sympathy**

"_Johnny, put her out of her misery, it's all you can do. She wouldn't want to be seen like this. If you can't. I'll do it."_

"No…it's okay Rust. I promised her. I…just need a couple of seconds."

"_Hnmk…'kay."_

**91. Vampires (2)**

"…Dude…there isn't a difference between a G and a vampire. Both are dead. Both are reanimated. And both die if you burn them."

**92. Rage**

He just keeps hitting the boy, over and over. In his eyes, the boy has made an unforgivable mistake, and so the boy must pay. Nobody tries to stop him, it would be foolish to try. Rust snarls curses at the bloodied and prone form below him. But all the anger in the world won't cure his partner of the Z-virus.

**93. Wedding**

"We're all married to death kiddo, whether she comes for us now or later. So enjoy life, 'kay?"

**94. Panic**

"ZOMBIES!"

"…_hehe…look at them run."_

"Ah…the things I'll do to get the last copy of Left 4 Dead 2."

"_Ehn hehe…"_

**95. Pitfall**

The worst trap that Sarge has ever seen was a pitfall trap with sharpened stakes at the bottom. Sharpened stakes with Z-flesh smeared all over them.

**96. Sadism**

"_Ehnk… enjoying another person's pain? It makes me happy. And here, be happy, or be insane."_

**97. Arc**

"We still got zombies cause when God flooded the world, all that Zack did was walk underwater and follow the giant floating bowl of meat."

**98. Basement Cat**

And Basement Cat said, "Do not want humanz, GTFO." So zombies where made.

**99. Basic Rule (3)**

On Halloween, NEVER, EVER, dress up as a zombie. You will be killed. Painfully.

**100. Shark**

"There aren't that many sharks anymore. Not enough food, and all the bottom dwelling species got eaten by Zack. It's a pity, sharks were such majestic creatures."


	6. E

**I do not own WWZ**

**I do own Rust, Johnny, and Sarge**

**Requested by a friend who wanted, "something dark, but ends on a sweet note."**

**No pairing, friendship only. **

**_+_+_+_**

**E is for Example**

Just the sight of bodies hanging from posts is bad enough, but the fact that a few minutes ago, those bodies where living people makes it worse. Most of the bodies are jerking, the greedy hands of Zack pulling at whatever flesh that is in reach. What a horrible way to die, dramatic, but horrible.

This was supposed to be a routine patrol, nothing exciting, but life just has to bitch-slap him in the face. It figures that he and his squad would be captured by a self-pronounced sect of God dedicated to cleansing the Earth of all those who do not believe; since according to the High Priest of Orleans, nonbelievers are the "source" of the walking dead.

If Rust was here, he would probably make fun of him for getting captured.

The world spins, lights flaring up then fading. Dimly he hears Johnny's cries of outrage, and the low growls from the rest of his squad. Red drips to the dusty floor, gleaming for a moment before turning dark and dull. He is next, he would fight, but his limbs can't move and everything is fuzzy.

"**These misguided souls will serve to be examples for those who stray from God's path…"**

They're hooking him up, so that they can swing his unwilling body over the pit and lower it inch by inch, till he dies. If this wasn't so serious, he would appreciate the cruel brilliance of the act. A method of death that requires no human executioner, and is justified under the insane laws of the High Priest of Orleans.

"…**And in the eyes of our Lord, should these men be innocence, they shall be saved from the legions of Hell. If they have done wrong in the eyes of the Lord, then Satan's brood will welcome their own..**_."_

Sheer fucking brilliance.

"…**Let us all pray, that these poor souls find redemption in the next world-…"**

The High Priest's head explodes, showering everyone with a multicolored rain of brains and bone. A stray thought crosses his mind, the High Priest's body should fall into the G pit, for the irony factor. But it doesn't, instead, the corpse is slumped over, supported by chest high railing, dripping blood on the G below. Hysterical screaming ensues, from the devote masses who had been praying but a moment earlier.

"_Shut up. Next person who screams. I'll kill." _A familiar voice booms out, amplified in order to be audible over the sound of helicopter blades. He blinks in surprise, when did the air force get here? With some difficulty, he focuses on the shouting figure, and stares for a moment, utterly surprised.

A real smile crosses his face, "Hey Rust, what are you doing here?" The words come out slurred, and he giggles a bit, amused by the sound of his own voice.

The lieutenant seems to hear his feeble words over the din of helicopters and quietly sobbing people. Suddenly, he sees the barrel of Rust's sniper rifle leveled at his head and grim expression on the lieutenant's face, before everything goes dark.

_+_+_+_

"_Wake up idiot. Getting bored. Have better things to do than watch sleeping idiots who get caught by noobs."_

The scratchy voice of his best friend/superior officer rouses him from a peaceful slumber. The first thing that greets his eyes are Rust's boot's, the lieutenant having propped them up on the edge of the hospital bed.

"_Awake now? Good. Going to get something to eat. Johnny, guard."_

As the shorter, thinner man slinks away, Johnny's overeager face fills his vision.

"How you feeling Sarge? Hope you are doing better, cause you took a really nasty blow to the head. Not to mention that that one guy tried to smash your brain in when Rust and the Captain caught up to them. But Rust blew the guy's head off! Everyone was so worried for you, and we all hoped you wouldn't die. Even though Rust said you wouldn't, but that is Rust, and he is insane and…"

Sarge sighs, allowing a weary smile to cross his face. Johnny's babbling is a soothing distraction from the pounding headache that he has. He would like to tell the boy to go and rest, but he can't summon the strength to speak at the moment.

As he dozes off, he smiles, Rust is so predictable.


	7. Magic

**I do not own WWZ or Magic the Gathering**

**For the drabbles, I'm using the mana cost format in this way:**

** (colorless mana) [colored mana]**

**I do own Rust, Johnny, Sarge and Kamet**

**Pointless drabbles**

**_+_+_+_**

**Johnny.**

Mana cost: [forest]

Creature – Human Soldier

Mob Mentalithy: For every Soldier card put into play, put a +1/+1 token on Johnny.

Last stand: (4) Sacrifice Johnny and search through your library for a Sarge card, put it into play and shuffle your library.

1/1

"_Unlike Private Ryan, nobody is going to save him if he is stuck behind enemy lines."_

**Sgt. Sarge**

Mana cost: (3)[Plains][Plains]

Creature – Human Soldier

Defender

Rally: Every Human card has +0/+2

2/5

"_We will succeed!"_

**Lt. Rust**

Mana cost: (5)[Swamp/Plains][Swamp/Plains]

Legendary Creature – Human Soldier

Haste, First strike, Vigilance

Recall: (5)[Plains][Swamp][Forest][Mountain][Island], put Lt. Rust into play from your graveyard

6/6

"_His soldiers fear him more than the enemy."_

**Kamet**

Mana cost: (2)[Island][Island]

Creature: Human Medic

Shielded: Kamet cannot be the targeted by abilities

Boost: tap, give any one Human card +2/+1 till end of turn. Play this ability at any time you would play an instant.

0/6

**Gravelord. **

"_Do not want to fight 5/5 zombie token_."

"THAT THING IS A TOKEN!?"

"Well, this sucks."

**Unfair**

"Question. Why the Hell is Rust SO MUCH FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST OF US?"

"…cause Skipper is biased towards him."

"THAT IS NOT FAIR."

"_Ehnk…"_

**Zombie Master**

"_Kill the bloody Zombie Master first! Or we are all screwed."_

"Hey! You're still in Skipper's hand, so shut up!"

"_The zombies have swamp walk now you idiot! Kill the Zombie Master already."_

"And whose fault is it that Skipper had to put down a swamp."

"_Shut up."_

**Gravespawn Sovereign **

"The Cabal never expected its creations to create servants of their own."

"_...Idiots."_

"I totally agree."


	8. Numbers

**I do not own WWZ, Shawn of the Dead, TF2, Pokemon, or Star Wars, or the song "Johnny doesn't know."**

**I do own my OCs, Rust, Johnny, Sarge, Kamet**

**Prompt: the number ten**

**_+_+_+_**

**Ten Rules [Civilian]**

Always bring two buddies with you.

Always carry a melee weapon, one for each party member.

Never stay out after dark.

When in doubt, let the professionals handle the problem.

Pay attention. Vigilance will save your life.

Wear your bite proof boots at all times.

Bring a pet if unable to bring a friend.

When all goes silent, it is time to muster up.

Practice with your weapons. Practice. Practice. Practice.

If your gun breaks down, use the bayonet.

**Ten Awards **

First of Many : first zombie killed

Bookworm: 25 zombies killed, with nothing but you, a stack of hardcover library books, and a safe position from which to drop said books

Jedi: 200 zombies killed, with any bladed weapon of choice

Shawn of the Dead: 10 zombies killed, with only a pool cue

Ceiling Cat: 200 zombies killed, while dangling/hanging from the ceiling. [underside of a bridge is allowed]

Basement Cat: 200 zombies killed, while underground

Hammer Time! : 150 zombies killed, with only a hammer

SPY CHECK! : Killing zombies with fire, lots and lots of fire, without burning yourself/allies/house/forest/dog

Penny Slots: Death by penny shooting staple gun, need I say more?

Chiller: 100 frozen zombies killed

**Ten Nightmares**

"Watching a friend be eaten alive." – Sarge

"Seeing a fresh hoard on the horizon, when you just managed to survive a fight with one chain swarm already." – Private Johnny

"..._The fanatically religious and their beliefs... I am the one who has to kill the idiots when they reanimate AND fill out the damn paperwork that comes afterward._" – Lt. Rust

"Getting to a safe zone, and finding that all the people have killed themselves. And then having to live with the knowledge that I could have done something." – Dr. Kamet

"That this is all a part of God's plan, that this is a punishment for straying from the true path." – Unknown

"Mummies. I hate having to learn about ancient Egypt, it reminds me too much of the Biters." – Alexi, age 11

"Having to see my brother grow old before my eyes, losing all the innocence and happiness that he used to have." Julie, age 36

"Getting the letter in the mail and being told that your child or sibling or spouse's burial has already been taken care of. And _knowing_ what that means…" – Unknown

"Waking up one day and looking out the window to seen nothing but a sea of Zack." – Kakumaru, age 42

"F-lions, enough said." – Unknown

**Ten Hopes**

"One day, we'll rebuild everything that was lost." – Sarge

"Things will be safe, but there'll still be Zack to kill." – Unknown

"An antidote or vaccine for the Z-virus will be made, so that no one has to worry about infection anymore." – Dr. Kamet

"..._Someone will start growing tea again."_ – Lt. Rust

"That there is a God, just so I can yell at him for being a frickin' douche." – Unknown

"I'll live long enough to get married, not matter what Rust says." – Johnny

"I want to live in the sky." – Grace, age 9

"Everyone, nations included, will be too busy killing Zack to even think about fighting each other." – Thompson, age 33

"Colleges will reopen." – Chase, age 19

"People will remember that there is always hope." – Unknown

**Ten Names**

Serenity: "May you find peace in the next world." [unnamed infant G, found and eliminated on patrol by AGS, preceding words carved onto make-shift grave marker.]

Rust: "_My name means nothing. It is simply a title, a label, so that I can be called upon when needed."_

Sarge: "Call me Sarge, none of that 'Sergeant Zim, Sir.' business, we're all family out here."

Johnny: "For the last time, MY GIRLFRIEND IS NOT NAMED FIONA."

Hope: I'm willing to bet that this name is going to skyrocket in popularity.

Zack: Don't think that this name is going to show up on many birth certificates.

Bob: Short, easy to remember, good name. And most importantly, easy to yell; which is almost a requirement when fighting G.

Kamet: "Skipper named me after her Pikachu. HER PIKACHU. I DO NOT LIKE BEING NAMED AFTER A POKEMON."

Skipper: "…there is no correlation with my [pen]name and this story. Except for the naval reference."

Scout: You do want your child to grow up like the TF2 Scout, yes. Baseball bats. Yes…

**Ten Steps [to writing WWZ fanfiction]**

A. Read WWZ _completely _(e. i. from cover to cover, even the publishing date and the random advertisement in the back)

B. Think (do not skip this step)

C. Reread WWZ, ponder the fickle nature of human beings

D. Consider various themes and storylines, reread WWZ, cross check any missed facts

E. Pick a theme, write (paper or word processer, it does not matter, just write)

G. Edit your fanfiction, angst/rage at self for writing a piece of shit (angsting is optional, editing is not)

H. Rewrite fanfiction, drink caffeinated/sugary liquid

I. Review and edit (required)

J. Repeat steps A – I as needed

K. Post

**Ten Weapons [Sarcasm Style]**

Garroting Wire: cause strangling a creature that doesn't breathe is so very effective.

Rosary: Zombies are not vampires.

Crowbar, good, old-fashioned, zombie killing fun.

Brick: Much more effective when used to fortify your safe zone.

Lawn mower: Only if all zombies are the size of a blade of grass.

Whip: No, just no.

Knitting needle: Eh…only if you want to get within arm range.

Blow Darts: Lame, idiotic version of a sling.

Steak knife: Might as well go and slit your wrists now.

Plastic ruler: Only if you are insane, or insanely lucky.

**Ten Days: Zombie Life**

Day 1: Still human, fighting for your life

Day 2: Fortress was overrun, you flee, leaving a chunk of your arm in the teeth of your reanimated ex.

Day 3: Fever sets in, you die

Day 4: Reanimation, start slouching around

Day 5: Looking for meat creatures, didn't find any, ate fuzzy twitchy object

Day 6: Slouching

Day 7: Slouching, ate fuzzy object

Day 8: Bumped into something, kept slouching

Day 9: Heard a howl, slouched in direction of howl

Day 10: Head shot, game over.

**Ten Colors**

Grey: Despair. Sorrow. Nightmares.

Blue: Valor. Protection. Companionship.

Red: Pre-war opulence. Birth. Painful lessons.

White: Snow. A last resort. Death.

Brown: Dirt. Life. Normality.

Black: Fear. Hiding. Wariness.

Green: Swamps. Food. Peace.

Tan: Humans. Safety. Comfort.

Silver: Weapons. Blind faith. Recycling.

Orange: Nuclear sunrise.

**Ten Words**

Kill zombies. Stay alive. Always save one bullet for yourself.


	9. Magic 14

**I do not own WWZ or Magic the Gathering**

**I do own Johnny, Rust, Sarge, and Kamet**

**WWZ drabbles, Magic-style, version 1.4**

**_+_+_+_**

[Wesnesday 12:47 am]

Skipper is bored and unable to fall asleep. Suddenly remembering that none of her fanfictions have been updated she decides to remedy the problem.

Starting with WWZ.

One question floated around her sleep deprived head: What to write about?

The Answer: Magic the Gathering.

Again.

[WWZ MTG style, Shadowmoor/Llorewyn style]

**Rust, the Guardian**

Mana cost: (1)[Plains][Plains]

Legendary Creature – Human Soldier

Vigilance, Double Strike

Creature cards with creature type "Soldier" cannot be countered.

(2)[Plains][Plains]: Put a +1/+1 counter on all other Soldier creatures.

2/2

"_Touched by an angel, he has become greater than anyone could ever have dreamed__."_

**Rust, the Accursed**

Mana cost: (1)[Swamp][Swamp]

Legendary Creature – Human Rogue

First Strike, Deathtouch

During your upkeep, target player sacrifices a non-Zombie creature. Put a X/X zombie token into play, where X is combined power and toughness of the sacrificed creature.

2/2

"_Cursed by an angel, he has become the enemy of the very people he was supposed to protect."_

**Sarge, Trail Guide**

Mana Cost: (1)[Plains][Swamp][Forest][Mountain][Island]

Legendary Creature – Human Scout

Shroud

When "Sarge, Trail Guide" comes into play, you may search for a Plains, Swamp, Forest, Mountain, and Island. These lands come into play tapped.

(2) [Plains][Swamp][Forest][Mountain][Island]: Return "Sarge, Trail Guide" to your hand.

0/4

"_Travel along this path, it is the safest way."_

**Sarge, Profiteer**

Mana Cost: [Plains][Plains][Swamp][Swamp][Forest][Forest]

Legendary Creature – Human Advisor

Protection from Creatures

When "Sarge, Profiteer" comes into play, you may bring a permanent from target graveyard into play under your control.

(3)[Mountain][Island][Island]: Remove "Sarge, Profiteer" from game until end of turn.

"_Is that trail safe? It could be, if you can pay the toll."_

**Kamet, Life Sage**

Mana Cost: [Plains][Forest][Island]

Legendary Creature – Human Priest

[Plains][Plains]: Target creature gains protection from color of your choice until end of turn.

(2)[Forest]: Put a 0/+1 counter on target creature.

(3)[Island]: Target creature cannot attack this turn

"_In his wake, peace flows."_

**Kamet, Death's Servant **

Mana Cost: [Swamp][Forest][Mountain]

Legendary Creature – Human Mystic

(3)[Swamp]: Target creature gains deathtouch until end of turn

(1)[Swamp][Forest]: Put a -1/-1 counter on target creature

(1)[Mountain]: All creatures you control get +2/-1 until end of turn.

"_Death follows his footsteps, like an ever faithful dog."_

**Johnny, Comrade **

Mana cost: (3)[Plains][Plains]

Legendary Creature – Human Soldier

When "Johnny, Comrade" comes into play, put six 1/1 White Soldier tokens into play.

[Plains][Plains][Plains]: tap, sacrifice a Soldier token. Destroy target Black creature.

"_Numbers definitely count when fighting enemies."_

**Johnny, Alone**

Mana cost: (3)[Swamp][Swamp]

Legendary Creature – Human Berserker

When "Johnny, Alone" comes into play, put six 1/1 Black Soldier tokens into play.

[Swamp][Swamp]: tap, sacrifice a Soldier token, put a +1/+1 counter on "Johnny, Alone"

"_He was lonely, now he's crazy, but at least he's happy."_

**Confusion.**

Rust does not understand why Johnny becomes more powerful when Soldier tokens are sacrificed. Rust does not understand why his Shadow counterpart creates zombies. Rust does understand that he is in for some interesting discussions with Skipper. Painfully interesting discussions.

**Paradox**

"_Fancy meeting you here…Rust."_

"_Ehnk…"_

"_Funny isn't it? You rarely talk at all, and I talk all the time."_

"…"

"_Well, we are opposite sides of the same coin…so I suppose it is not unusual."_

"…_Obviously."_

"_Are we amused?"_

"_Must you ask?"_

"_No. As crazy as this conversation is, we are not crazy, not like Johnny."_

"_Johnny is always crazy. Even in my reality"_

"_I must agree, though my Johnny is actually rather bearable."_

"…_?"_

"_He spends all his time talking to himself. And his dead teammates. He doesn't need much to keep himself happy."_

"_Lucky brat."_

"_So very true."_


	10. Mini Arc! I choose you!

**I do not own WWZ or The Zombie Survival Guide or Pokemon**

**I do own Johnny, Rust, Surge, and other misc. characters**

**Let's have a little fun, ja? **

**LET THE POKEMON/WWZ ARC BEGIN!**

**

* * *

**

**Pokemon**

Wild Zombie appears!

PFC Johnny calls out Mudkip! Mudkip uses Mud Slap!

It isn't very effective.

Wild Zombie uses Moan! Mudkip's evasion fell!

Mudkip uses Bubble!

It isn't very effective.

Wild Zombie uses Bite! Wild Zombie misses!

You are a lucky ass bastard!

Lt. Rust suddenly appears! Lt. Rust calls out Charizard! Charizard uses Flamethrower!

Critical hit! It's super effective!

Wild Zombie is destroyed, Charizard gains 1000 exp. Charizard is now level 73!

Lt. Rust gives PFC Johnny a disdainful look. PFC Johnny loses $500.

Charizard uses Fly! Charizard hauls PFC Johnny's ass back to base.

"Rust! Why the HELL does my Mudkip get to sit on Charizard's back while I gotta hang from his claws?"

"_Manners Johnny. Your Mudkip is up here because I like him better than you. Also, Rose is not a boy."_

"You named your Charizard Rose."

"_Yes."_

"Weirdo."

"_Must I ask Rose to drop you?"_

"Um…NO! I mean, nothing wrong with the name Rose. Yah….please don't drop me."

"_Idiot."_

_

* * *

[At base...]  
_

"Hey Sarge?"

"Yah?"

"Why is it that Mudkip and I have such a hard time with training? I mean, eveytime we train together I end up having to save his life. It is really discouraging for both of us."

"Well, Johnny…you picked a Water-type and Ground-type Pokemon."

"What is the problem with that?"

"Well…Water moves don't work very well against Zombies, unless your Pokemon is capable of unleashing Water-type attacks that can punch through human bone."

"So…you're saying that Mudkip isn't the right Pokemon for fighting Zombies?"

"No! I'm trying to say that Mukip is going to have a lot of trouble with fighting zombies because, honestly son, Zombies don't have any real weakness to water. Zombie doesn't have any real weakness to Ground-type moves either, they don't care if mud gets in their eyes or if the ground shakes, things like that don't bother them."

"But the Captain's Larvitar is really good at killing Zombies…"

"Cause the Captain has a Rock and Ground-type Pokemon. He has his Larvitar use Earthquake to knock all the Zombies down then has Larvitar use Roll Out, a Rock-type move, to squish all the Zombie's heads."

"Can't I do that with Mudkip?"

"No, not safely. Johnny, Larvitar has rock hard skin, it can't be penetrated by bone points or rocks. Mudkip's skin is really thin and soft, like a newt's, body contact attacks would be stupid and dangerous."

"Oh…so Sarge…?"

"Yah?"

"Is that why everyone has Rock or Fire-type Pokemon?"

"Yes, Johnny, that is why we all have Rock or Fire-type Pokemon."

**Pokemon Known Team Rosters [For the Mini-Arc]**

**Lt. Rust: **

Rose/Charizard

**Sgt. Sarge: **

?

**PFC Johnny:**

Mudkip/Mudkip

**Kamet:**

?

* * *

**Playing SoulSilver has spawned this idea, now to see if it is worth anything...kekekekkekekekekeeeeeee**


	11. Adventure

**I do not own WWZ**

**I do own Rust, Johnny and the various worlds that Rust runs around in.**

**Just a little drabble for stress relief. **

xXxXxXx

"Hey Rust…"

"Yes…?" Pale eyes narrowed at PFC Johnny, suspicious of the younger man's wheeling tone.

"Just wondering…"

"Spit. It. Out."

"Why the _fuck_ are you so perfect?"

"Excuse me…?" His hand crushed the regulation steel cup that he had been holding, causing hot coffee to spill all over the table. Gaze focused on Johnny, the lieutenant stood up, fingers inching toward his survival knife.

"Whoa there sir! I mean, everyone is just curious that you never seem to get hurt-ohgodpleaseputthegundown."

"Johnny." If Rust could spit fire, he would be. If that is any indication of how irked the man was.

"Yes sir?"

"Going out. Be back later."

Johnny later would swear that his commanding officer had disappeared in a puff of black vapor, followed by the vague sound of screaming children.

xXxXxXx

[Blank Space]

I've always hated contacting my Creator, but this time it is necessary. If I've become so perfect that the mindless side-characters are noticing, then that means Creator isn't putting any effort into my world. Call it selfishness, but I don't want to disappear, I don't want any one of my friends in my world to disappear.

It is a fucking pain to get through the combined sludge of seven or so different universes. She, the Animator of Idiocy, never organizes the worlds, or her room for that matter. At least the portals are fairly well marked out, last place I want to go is that weird magical fairy land. That place is horrible. I think they are in their fifth interspecies war right now, or something.

And it seems that my gate is leaking, it at least explains why there have been less G's hanging around. At least I don't have to worry about being eaten or turned, the mass of goo coming from the T. O. gate seems to be having a good meal. It won't eat me. I think.

Or not.

Fuck this shit, I should have stayed in my world, but noooooooooo, I have to go complain about being too perfect. Ha! So I _can_ stab the personification of chaos with a knife, that is pretty cool. Heh, now how close am I to that gate…oh shit.

xXxXxXx

[T. O.]

"Please identify yourself." Great, was hoping to sneak out, but I just have to get captured by a friggin' green-eyed girl who looks like she would really like to kill me.

"Can you please not blast me with your freaky magic powers? I don't think that Creator made me immune to them."

"Stifle your magic Cortel, the young man means no harm." Never seen this guy before, but then again, this is only my second time outside of my own world.

"My apologies, Lt. Ford, we will have a gate open for you in just a moment."

"You know my name?"

"My master knows many things Lt. Ford, now on your way."

"Just wait a fucking…"

xXxXxXx

[Cocori]

"The fuck?" Magical fairy land my ass. Creator must really love making happy places into unending pits of despair. Flowers and rotting bodies, how lovely. Wait a minute…are those bodies impaled on stakes? This is really bad isn't i-…

xXxXxXx

[Hellven]

"You are still alive. GTFO."

Goddamn angels.

xXxXxXx

[Blank Space]

Finally back in a place I can actually understand. Sort of. But I don't see any of the portals so I think I'm lost.

Wonderful.

**There you are. **

"Oi, Creator, took you long enough."

**Rust, what are you doing outside of your world? **

"You've been ignoring us. And I don't want to fucking disappear."

**Yah? Well I've got something called "finals" so there is no time for any of you guys right now. Go back home and I'll write a proper story about you later. **

"Wait just one fucki-"

xXxXxXx

[WWZ AU verse]

"Great." Rust sighed, the entire trip had been a waste of time. From the looks that he had received when re-entering the camp covered smelling of brimstone and peppermint everyone probably thought he was crazy as well.

He glared at the cloth ceiling of his tent, either the next few days would be filled with nonstop zombie hoards or everything would freeze until the Creator remembered to play with this world again. Sleeping through the freeze would be the best thing, that way he wouldn't have to be conscious through the entire thing.

It really didn't pay to be an original character.


	12. Being Practical

**I do not own WWZ**

**I do own my OCs**

**Prompt: Backstory for a character**

xXxXxXx

They can't afford to let these sick men loose. These unchangeable, irredeemable monsters, the serial rapists, killers, and pedophiles. Can't let them free to wreck havoc on an already strained and struggling society. Yet they have orders, orders to clear out the prison so that it can be converted into a safe zone. The problem looms over the management, causing despair. There isn't enough time to relocate the convicts, and what bullets they still have need to be saved for protecting the concrete walls from the undead.

One meeting, a guard speaks up. His voice trembles slightly as he explains the idea that had been stewing in the back of his mind.

It is disgusting. Dishonorable, depraved, demoralizing, and other such words that begin with a "d". Yet, it is the only option that they can think of that doesn't directly include wasting what few supplies they have left.

So it begins.

He, the guard who voiced the idea, sweats and rages at God for putting him in this position. What he is about to do is unforgiveable, but he was the one to voice the plan, and he will be the one to carry it out. With one last curse at God, he thrusts a knife smeared with undead flesh into a bound convict's arm.

Two rows of chosen prisoners kneel, unwillingly waiting to have the tainted blade thrust into their bodies. The men are from the numerous solitary confinement cells that this prison has, which made them perfect sacrifices.

After infecting all the sacrificial sheep, he waits for an hour, just to make sure that each one of the damned is truly going to join the ranks of the undead. Then he kills them by slitting their throats. When the first reanimate, he steps back and allows his fellow guards to begin the messy work of butchering the poor mindless beasts.

The heads go into the incinerator, along with the bones and un-used organs. The flesh, the toxic meat, is carefully portioned out and placed into the evening meal. Steely eyed and solemn, the guards dole out portions of the deadly stew, with luck and impromptu execution, all the prisoners will be dead by the next morning.

That night the prison is eerily quiet, save for the soft taps of boots as the still living guards patrol the prison. The few convicts that survived the poisoned dinner, either from lack of appetite or deciding not to eat the stew, are quietly and swiftly killed.

The next day is spent removing the bodies from the cells and burning them. The utensils, pots, knifes, and dishes that served the undead stew are thrown in the fire as well. Not one of the guards is willing to risk using the cooking tools again.

It takes just a week for the entire prison to be cleaned and renovated for its new purpose as a safe zone. As grateful survivors enter the gates and military planes drop off supplies and trained soldiers to protect the new refuge, the guard that is responsible for clearing out the prison says nothing and stands guard.

After the prison is secure and the civilians have settled down, he allows himself to wallow in misery and self loathing. He needs to leave, to get away from the prison and all the reminders of what he did. One night, during an episode of black depression he impulsively sends a prayer to God, begging for one favor (which he doesn't deserve, considering that he has no faith). And he receives it.

The next day he is approached by one of the resident soldiers and offered a chance to join the Army and destroy the undead plague. He jumps at the chance, signing on and leaving for boot camp the very next week.

When he leaves he does not look back. The prison holds nothing good for him.

xXxXxXx

Whooooooo, so much fun to write this angsty-angsty ficlet with horrible-yet-oddly-practical undertones. Okay, fine, maybe it wasn't that practical, but it was fun none the less.


	13. G

**I do not own WWZ, Pokemon, or Dead Space**

**I do own my various OCs, Rust, Johnny, Rose, Blanche, and Mudkip the Mudkip**

**Another 20 random drabbles**

**On a side note, I love TvTropes. **

**xXxXxXx**

**101. Dead Space I**

The idea of fighting alien zombies IN SPACE makes Rust facepalm. Repeatedly. Especially since Johnny thinks it is a really cool concept.

**102. Angels**

"I have the weirdest feeling that the G outbreak is some bizarre test made up by a misguided and utterly incompetent angel in an attempt to get humans to bond together as a species or something."

**103. Demons**

"Do you think that the ghouls are made by demons Rust?"

"_What? No. Demons are much more creative." _

**104. Dead Space II**

"Rust did you just…"

"_Ehehehee…So. Much. FUN."_

"I…you are really creepy you know that?"

Rust simply giggled in response and punted another zombie baby into the hospital wall, cracking open its skull and killing it instantly.

**105. Revive Kills Zombie**

Does not work. Ever. So put down that bottle of ointment, the hospital needs it.

**106. Rose (Charizard)**

Rose has a favorite strategy for killing Gs. She finds a nice stable tree to rest on and proceeds to flambé any and all ghouls that come in range of her Flamethrower. And if the tree catches on fire she just flies to another one.

**107. Pokedex Entry**

Zombie – The Undead Pokemon

Type: Normal/Poison

Abilities (All Activated):  
Mindless – Unaffected by Dark, Psychic, and Ghost attacks  
Infect – Any physical attack that connects will result in infection of the target, non-human targets will die 24 hours after infection  
Frighten – Lower the Attack and Sp. Attack of opponent  
Unstable – Clumsy and slow moving, however, takes ½ damage from Ground moves

Moves:  
Bite  
Splash  
Screech  
Struggle

Strong against: Water, Ground, Normal, Electric, Bug

Unaffected by: Dark, Ghost, Psychic, Poison

Weak against: Fire, Ice, Steel, Rock, Fighting

Damaged normally by: Dragon, Plant, Flying

**108. Blanche**

Blanche is displeased that all he has is a couple of sentences in a WWZ fanfic. He is supposed to have his own Pokemon fanfic, starring him and his friends. What is even worse is that as a Psychic-Type his moves are virtually useless against Zombies. Unless he picks something else up and rams it through the Undead Pokemon's head. Which is a pain in the ass. And his stupid creator won't even say what kind of Pokemon he is or what his story is going to be about. Fucking jerkass.

**109. Moral Event Horizon **

Kill a G? No problem.

Leave behind a member of your group that is causing problems? Depends on how harmful said problems were, but generally okay.

Kill a murderous jackass who has been picking off your group one by one? Still good.

Leave an infected child behind in order to save yourself? Now you are officially a monster.

**110. Big Lipped Alligator Moment**

"_And we never talk about the G, coca-cola bottle, bird seed, and snap ties ever again. Understood? Or I will kill you all."_

**111. Soap**

"And after extensive research we have proved that it is indeed possible to make soap out of rendered ghoul fat. Even though no one is willing to test if ghoul-fat soap is actually capable of cleaning anything."

**112. Mudkip**

Mudkip is a squishy, squishy newt. Often times he ponders why the bloody hell a Pokemon as soft and edible as him was ever considered to be battle capable. Then he decides that it isn't worth thinking about and goes back to running for his life along side Johnny. Hopefully Rust and Rose will come by soon. His legs are getting tired.

**113. Contractual Stupidity**

"Hey Johnny?"

"Yah Anegel?"

"No offense, but WHY THE FUCK DID YOU OPEN THE DOOR EVEN AFTER RUST TOLD YOU NOT TOO?"

"Um…I'm not sure...I was curious?"

"YOU HAD TOO? We're fighting for our lives against a couple hundred starving zombies cause YOU GOT CURIOUS AND HAD TO OPEN THE STUPID DOOR!"

A few feet away…

"_PRIVATE FIRST CLASS JOHNNY. I WILL __**KILL**__ YOU WHEN THIS IS OVER!" _Rust howled as he savagely re-killed the zombie in front of him. "_I WILL MAKE YOU SUFFER YOU HEAR MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE? MAKE YOU __**SUFFER**__ A HORRIBLE DEATH!" _

"Johnny."

"Yah?"

"It was nice knowing you."

**114. Flooded Basement**

"There is no way in HELL that I'm going into that basement before it's drained of all water. I've played waaaaaaaay too many horror videogames that end up with a monster jumping out of the water and eating/killing/horribly maiming the poor idiot who was wading without taking the proper precautions."

**115. Elevator**

The proper procedure for opening a jammed elevator in an abandoned building is as follows:  
1) If the elevator requires a code to open it, be sure to obtain the code needed to _close_ it as well.  
2) Have at least 4 other people standing guard as the elevator is opened, to prevent any ghouls from sneaking up on you.  
3) As the door opens DO NOT STAND NEAR IT. There is a very good chance that a ghoul has been trapped inside and is waiting to attack  
4) When the elevator is completely opened carefully check to make sure that there are no dismembered body parts or still animate heads attached to any part of the elevator.  
5) Do not get in the elevator, wait for a repair team to check for structural stability.

**116. Peace**

It's been really peaceful the last few days, no ghouls showing up, nothing but blue skies and sunny weather. Which is the exact reason why the genre savvy citizens of New Sunnyvale are currently cleaning their second-hand SIRs and checking their fortifications. Any second now a scout is going to come running up to their gated and elevated community with horrible news. Horrible news that includes lots and lots of ghouls.

**117. Kitty**

Just cause the kitten ran into a house filled with Gs does not mean that anyone is going to follow it.

**118. Tempting Fate**

Nobody in the AGS ever says things like "that'll never happen" or "what's the worst that can happen" because fate loves to proves exactly what could go wrong in excruciatingly precise and painful detail.

**119. Moral Boost**

"So you're almost 7 feet tall, about 80 lbs. overweight, and want to learn how to hand a great sword."

"Yes."

"Great! With a little hard work and some time I can make you _terrifying_."

"…but Zedheads don't feel fear."

"Of course not, but having a sword welding giant on your side is an absolutely wonderful moral booster."

**200. Swordsmanship**

Much to Johnny's amusement, it turns out that Rust is an absolute disaster with a sword. Give the man a baseball bat or crowbar and he can cause major amounts of destruction and death. Give the man a sword and he is more likely to poke out his own eye, chop of some non-vital body part, or decapitate his instructor than do any harm to a G.

Though it isn't nice to mock his superior, Johnny can't help but feel a little pride in the fact that he is superior to Rust in some way.

Even if swords don't amount to much in when Lobos and SIRs can be used instead.

**xXxXxXx**

**I forgot how fun these could be. Expect to see more in future. At some time. **


	14. H

**I do not own WWZ, Pokemon or whatever other reference I used**

**I do own my OCs though, Rust, Johnny, Surge, Captain Sylvia**

**I love TvTropes**

**Nokamiso: Thank you for reviewing so often. And yes, I totally agree that updates are wonderful things. Though truthfully I like torchic better. **

**Riffing: Big Lipped Alligator Moment, huh, didn't expect that. Then again, the implications are rather interesting. As for a mulit-chapter fic, that is a possibility, though I don't have a good story line for one yet. **

**xXxXxXx**

**121. Creepy Child**

There is something decidedly off about the children who are growing up during the Z outbreak. All of them have an almost sociopathic obsession with destruction and fire. Not that this surprises anyone, after all, broken skulls and burning bodies are equivalent to safety in the minds of children now.

**122. Decay**

"Shouldn't the Gs be decaying faster? After all whenever they move they destroy their muscle fibers, and Gs can't heal at all, so they should be immobile in a matter of months instead of years."

**123. Bacterium**

"Well, the good news is that we did manage to produce a strain of bacteria that consumes Z flesh. The bad news is that it also has a taste for living flesh as well. Just as a precaution we destroyed all the samples of bacteria and decontaminated the lab."

"…_That explains why the laboratory is on fire."_

**124. Lawful Stupid**

Jessica once fit into this category. I say "once" because she is a G right now. Why? Cause the idiotic woman refused to leave her infected daughter behind and was bitten after her daughter died and reanimated in her arms. Perhaps her actions can be seen as noble, but really, staying with your infected daughter who is just hours away from death is really damn stupid.

**125. Savior**

Surge is the reason that Rust is alive. He saved the lieutenant from being devoured by ghouls. He gave the lieutenant a job. He was the one to comfort Rust when the younger man woke up trembling from nightmares. He was the one to stand by Rust's side when the lieutenant goes on various homicidal rampages. Surge is the reason that Rust is alive. And he will continue to be that reason till the day he dies.

**126. Awareness**

Rust knows he is a fictional character, this knowledge was a gift from his Creator. He knows that his life is horrible because the Creator decided it would be. He knows that nothing he does is ever going to change the fact that he is fictional, a mere plaything for the Creator. He does not resent these facts, he accepts them as truth. He accepts that all his men will die in various horrible ways because of Gs, and that he will die alone and forgotten. Rust knows he is a fictional character, this knowledge was a gift from his Creator, and he hates that fucker with all his heart.

**127. Candle**

Considering how little electricity there is, candles have come back as a main source of light. The only problem is that a lot of candles in the New Sunnyvale community are scented ones, meaning that they attract Zedheads. Lots and lots of Zedheads.

**128. Koi**

Poor koi, trapped in your little pond with that G trying to eat you. Let me help you out. Cause pretty fishes shouldn't be eaten by such an ugly creature.

(short distance away)

"Sir, Captain, sir, did Lt. Rust just halt the entire company to save a pond full of koi?"

"Don't think about it too much PFC Johnny, or you'll drive yourself as crazy."

"If you say so Sir."

**129. SMT Strange Journey**

If there was anything that told Rust that Captain Jack and his men where Chaotic Evil, it was the fact that the fucker used ghouls (and other such creatures) as his demons. Ghouls, motherfricking fleshing-eating ghouls. Of course, that made killing the bastards soooooooo much sweeter.

**130. Cursed with Awesome**

Sure, it might be a cursed sword, but since any target it is swung at is always decapitated nobody really sees the curse as a setback. Okay, so maybe the handler isn't able to let go of the sword until the blade's bloodthirsty spirit is sated, but that isn't_ that_ big of a problem.

**131. Kill the Scrappy**

"So you're saying that in order to permanently destroy the threat that Zack poses to humanity we have to help you find the seven swords of heroism, which are the Spear of Longinus, Kusanagi no Tsurugi, Excalibur, Gae Bolg, Durendal, Tyrfing, and Lu DongBin. Then you (with our help) have to take the swords and forge them into a single spear known as "The Guardian". The spear pole needs to be made from thirteen different living trees all of which are over a thousand years old, with the wood still alive even after being cut. After all that is done, 108 pure _willing_ maidens (which we have to find) have give up their souls to infuse the spear with "holy" power. Then the spear will have to be taken to Shambhala and you have to conduct a lengthy week-long ritual in order to purge the world of ghouls. And the ritual has a really high chance of failure, but you're certain that with our help you can pull it off successfully." Johnny stated, a dubious expression on his face.

"Yes, that is what God has told me." Nyle (Ultimate Player of RPGs and Self-Proclaimed Genre-Savvy Hero) said seriously, not noticing Johnny's doubts or Rust's growing desire to murder him. "If the world is to be saved The Guardian must be remade and taken to the holy land. If I do not do so soon, the human race is doomed to be overrun by ghouls."

"I don't think…" Johnny's protests were cut off as Nyle continued his lecture on why the AGS absolutely _had_ to listen to him and lend him their help. And how everyone was doomed and other things like that.

Thankfully, Johnny and all the other soldiers were spared from having to continue dealing with Nyle when the aforementioned deluded "hero" suddenly tripped and tumbled off a nearby cliff that Johnny swore had not been there a moment ago. To everyone's disappointment Nyle turned out to be okay, until a freak flash flood slammed into the young man. The group's hopes that Nyle had died or at least been washed downstream were crushed when the waters subsided and they saw the delusional brat clinging to a large rock. Rust groaned and wondered if he might have to appeal to his Creator for help, which he was spared from doing so when a group of zombies spontaneously dropped from the sky and devoured Nyle in an extremely graphic and messy fashion.

"You know, even though we just all saw a defenseless human get brutally murdered by a group of Zack at are still feeding on his corpse, I don't feel even one bit of guilt or remorse." Johnny said, gazing at the bloody mess that was Nyle, "I've got to ask, does anyone feel guilty at all?"

Everyone else in the group shook their heads, feeling absolutely no guilt or sadness at Nyle's abrupt (and rather unusual death). After a few more minutes of watching Zack tear at the few remaining scraps of flesh they all prepared to continue sweeping the area, minds free of any thoughts or desires (besides going their jobs of course).

Except for Rust, who was disappointed that he hadn't been able to kill Nyle himself.

**132. Whimper**

There really isn't any other way to describe the sound that seeps so easily from the lips of children and adults when they meet their first G. A sound that says the one who voiced it is soft, weak, and utterly harmless. But Zack doesn't care about such things, and the meek whimper is usually the last sound that the speaker makes.

**133. Story**

He ran from Zack for several days, stopping only briefly to rest before continuing the hopeless race for life. He was stuck in a tree for a bit, having fallen asleep in the great plant's branches, before jumping and floundering in the thick mud that surrounded the trunk losing a shoe in the process. It was probably then, that he was bitten, but he kept running until his blood clotted and lungs clogged. Finally, after hours of suffering, he died and rose as a new member of the undead horde.

That is the story that the dried mud tells Surge, well preserved foot prints and personal belongings imprinted deeply in the cracked earth. With this story in mind, he smiles sadly, and lifts his gun to shoot the mass of slowly approaching Gs. Hopefully, he will put the owner of the shoe out of its misery, and if not, he will do so eventually.

**134. Karma Bites Back**

Karma has a way of getting revenge on you. Especially if Karma is you ex-girlfriend. Who you left behind and doomed to become a G. Who is now trying to bite your face off.

**135. Questions**

"Who was the one to bring the Z-virus back into human life? Why did they do it? Was it on accident or on purpose? Do they regret what they have done? Are they still alive? And if so, can I kill them?"

**136. Unnamed**

Nobody cares how many children died because of some ignorant idea that the bodies of the innocent could purge the Z-virus, or the millions of babies who were abandoned by family members in desperation. Sure, people sympathize with the rare individual who survives, but all the other unnamed and unknown children who struggled and wept and begged for help are forgotten.

**137. Replacements**

Rust doesn't like to rescue parents, especially not parents who have no children with them. He can't help but question if they have abandoned their children to save themselves, as unlikely as it may be. However, he saves his paranoia and wrath for couples who should have been starting families around the time that Great Panic hit.

Rust is understanding and sympathetic if the couple suffered a miscarriage during the rough times. To him, a baby is only a baby if it can survive outside the womb without any medical help. For a young mother to willingly abort a fetus during the rough times is perfectly fine to him.

What he cannot stand are young couples who had a child or baby and abandoned them to save themselves. The logic that a parent can always replace the old child with another one never ceases to infuriate him. It isn't unusual for rescued parents who abandoned their children to an uncertain fate to mysteriously disappear. Every soldier in Rust's company knows what happens to the parents, but nobody reports it, because they often help make the child sacrificing jackasses disappear.

Captain Sylvia knows what Rust and his men do, but he never comments on it. Besides, turning them in means that he has to replace them, and he is far too attached to his slightly-crazy-mostly-amoral company to even think about such a thing.

**138. Captain Sylvia**

He doesn't have a tragic backstory like Johnny and Anegel. He isn't doomed to suffer like Rust and Surge. He knows that he cares for his men, but he doesn't understand why. He just exists, a barely sentient being, hardly better than the Gs that he destroys every day.

**139. Angst**

Rust is an angsty person, he just doesn't show it. It's kind of hard to be angsty, when the usual methods of showing off extreme (stereotypical) angst always carry the risk of being infected. Let's see…cutting is out of the question due to infection (it rhymes), sitting around listening to emo music just attracts ghouls, and writing wangst filled poetry is kind of hard when paper and pencils are in short supply. So basically, Rust is an angsty person who shows off his angst by murdering things. Which isn't all that angsty. At all.

**140. MUTHERFUCKING GHOULS IN A MUTHERFUCKING SWAMP**

Obviously, this is AGS after all. Nothing but swamps and ghouls as far as the eye can see.

**xXxXxXx**

**Hey, everyone, do me a favor and review if you so desire. And give me prompts. Or something. **

**Next chapter will probably focus on wwz/pokemon again. **


	15. O II

**I do not own WWZ or Windex or the 28 (days, years, months, weeks, whatever) movie things or pokemon**

**I do own Rust, Johnny, Anegel, Sarge, Kamet, Sylvia, the 131****st**** Company, Evelyn, Topax, Cortel, Arc. Basically my OCs. Oh, and Cho. **

**Riffing: Shot glass, like you so kindly offered, and a little blurb on the K-9 corps. **

**Nokamiso: Chaotic Good = Rust and everyone else associated with him. Except for Johnny. Who is more Lawful Stupid. Oh, and Sarge who is Lawful Neutral. And Kamet is Lawful Evil. **

**TVTROPES IS FOR MANLY MEN. And women. I think. **

**Just fixed some grammer and spelling errors.  
**

**xXxXxXx**

**141. Shot Glass**

No matter how he looks at it, Johnny never expected to live long enough to settle down and start a family. He is thankful, don't get that wrong, but he honestly thought that he would have died some horrible-yet-heroic death shortly before North America was declared free of the undead blight.

Humming cheerfully, he sets out five shot glasses, and doles out generous portions of whiskey into each. Once that is done, the former PFC sits back and sips the amber liquid, allowing himself to relax in the cool summer evening.

One glass is for Anegel, his battle buddy back in AGS. Anegel is currently on the other side of the country, working on some aquaculture project in an attempt to reseed the oceans. Johnny grins as he thinks about his friend, from the last letter he received, it sounds like Anegel might be thinking about starting his own family.

One glass, slightly fuller than the rest, is for Dr. Kamet. A quick glance at the clock tells Johnny that the good doctor will be here soon. After being released from service like Johnny, Kamet opened New Sunnyvale Hospital along with several other military doctors. He comes by twice a week to drink with Johnny and reminisce about their days in AGS.

The last two glasses are for Rust and Sarge. Both men are out of the country right now, from Sarge's precise and regular letters, they are currently in Kenya helping out with destroying the few remaining pockets of Zack. Rust had actually tried to settle down in New Sunnyvale but found that settlement life was too boring and decided to go hunting Gs on his own. Surge had been slightly more successful with re-entering civilization and actually started courting a few women when Rust had showed up at the sergeant's door with a crowbar, SIR, packed survival kit, and said that he was leaving. To everyone's surprise (except for Kamet, Johnny, and Anegel), Sarge simply nodded and left with the former lieutenant the very next day. From Sarge's last letter both of them are doing fine, though Rust apparently has been a little more bloodthirsty than usual.

His lazy thoughts are interrupted by Kamet climbing up the ladder to the porch and greeting him with a warm hug. The doctor breaks off the hug and downs the glass of alcohol before launching into a rather amusing tirade about some patients he had earlier that day. Johnny nods sympathetically and pours the doctor another glass, pushing the thoughts of his currently absent friends to the back of his mind.

After all, Anegel, Rust, and Surge are all going to come back to celebrate the birth of Johnny's first child in a couple of months.

**142. Abandoned**

Puppies that fail the selection process for the K-9 Urban Warfare School do not live pleasant lives. Nobody can really afford to feed and care for dogs that become crazed with fear at the smell and sight of Zack. The lucky ones end up being adopted out to families, the unlucky ones end up dead or worse.

People need to eat after all.

**143. Tailor**

"Why good morning Mr. Bumbles aren't you looking _**Fabulous **_today! Oh, Mrs. Wiffle did you lose a tooth? Poor dear."

"_Cho, talk to your zombie heads later."_ Rust said, looking utterly bored as he waited for the brilliant, and slightly unhinged, tailor to finish talking to the multiple zombie heads trapped in thick shatter-proof jars.

"I'm so sorry Rust, darling. I didn't mean to get caught up in greeting my dear friends, it just seems so rude not to talk to them after all the hard work they have done for me." Cho tittered, gracefully walking over to the slightly impatient lieutenant. "Here you go love, my newest gauntlet design, 100% bite-proof and extremely fashionable if I must say so myself. The blue ones are for Sarge and the red ones are for you."

"_Thanks. Do you need anything?"_

"Don't worry about it dear, consider it a gift for giving me all my good friends." Cho gestured to the G heads, beaming brightly. "I really can't thank you enough for helping me out."

"_Anything for a friend."_

**144. Tornados**

Tornados are one of the worst things about being in the AGS. Sure swamps are bad, the long stretches of desert are boring as fuck, but tornados take the cake as the number one worst (natural) thing ever. Mostly because tornadoes have a nasty tendency to pick up ghouls, break them up into various chunks, then send those chunks flying through the air for miles at high velocity. Chunks with lots of pointy bits of broken bone.

**145. Useful**

"If you are going to go and kill yourself, please do so in a manner that leaves your organs untouched. There are a couple people who could use them, namely your neighbor two house over. He needs a kidney transplant."

**146. Demon Slayer**

What Johnny likes to think he is. What Sarge really is. What Rust is most definitely not.

**147. Hate Plague**

"_So…you say that you created some sort of 'rage' virus, and all my men are infected." _Rust tilted his head, considering the scientist's words. If what the professor said was true, the 131st company should have been trying to stab each other to death several minutes ago. Or something equally bloody and needlessly violent. The lieutenant glanced at his superior, eyes cool. "_Well, what do you think Captain?"_

Sylvia shrugged, having finished contacting the other squad leaders. "Nobody is acting any different, so it seems that we are immune or something equally convenient. Personally, this 'rage' virus doesn't sound like it'll change anything in the 131st."

"…_that is a really good point, Sir."_

**148. Windex**

Guaranteed to clean and decontaminate all those nasty streak marks left behind by Gs dragging their faces your Diamond Strong (tm) windows! On sale now.

**149. Relax**

Everyone has to relax somehow.

Johnny plays with the K-9's that are assigned to the AGS. Anegel writes letters to his family in San Francisco Haven. Rust reads books and sings (surprisingly well). Sylvia meditates, contemplating his role in life. Sarge holds sports competitions and participates in them.

And Kamet vanishes for hours at a time, then comes back covered in warm, red blood of an unidentifiable origin.

**150. Friend**

"Hey Rust?"

"_Hmmm?"_

"If…if I ever become a G. Can you…can you be the one to kill me?"

"…"

"I mean, I hope I don't become a G anytime soon, but I do can you do it? It isn't like I don't trust anyone else, but I trust you the most to get the job done right and stuff. Cause Sarge might relent or something…"

"_Johnny."_

"Yah?"

"_I'll do it."_

"Y-you promise?"

"_Of course, that is what friends do."_

**151. Overprotective**

There are few boys in New Sunnyvale who are able to date Evelyn Alara Jameson McCarthy. Mind, it isn't from lack of desire, but from the fact that most boys aren't able to handle the various responses of Evelyn's uncles.

Sarge is rather mild as overprotective uncles go. In order to test if the prospective boyfriend is worthy of his niece, he signs them up for the AGS. If they come back after their term of service is over, then he allows Rust to take over.

Rust on the other hand completely skips over terrifying and heads directly into eldritch horror. Boys who are (un)fortunate enough to pass Sarge's test usually have a "friendly" chat with Rust. Said "friendly" chats usually end with the unfortunate boy missing some non-essential body part, like an ear or a testicle or sanity.

Evelyn is not pleased by any of this. She wants to be able to get married someday, and she sure as hell can't do it if all her prospective dates are scared away.

And it really doesn't help that her dad still has his SIR from AGS.

**152. Wonder**

"Is that…a butterfly?"

**153. Burning**

"What is that smell?"

"_Burning Gs. Why?_"

"Oh, carry on then."

**154. Baby II**

"…_and Trinity Hospital has received a number of rather unusual patients. Hospital staff described the patients as smelling of rotting flesh and extremely violent. The patients were brought in by ambulance several hours ago…" _

"Honey…isn't that the hospital that our daughter is at?"

**155. Nightmares**

_Y-you left me behind. You broke your promise. Why did you do that? It hurts so much…YOU PROMISED ME. YOU PROMISED WE WOULD DIE TOGETHER._

_Failure. Unfaithful. I died because of you. I was eaten completely, you can't even bury me now. You miserable bastard, go ahead and enjoy your new friends, you'll NEVER be rid of me. I'm always here. Always. _

_Big brother…where is mommy?_

…_I'm ready now, please make it quick. And remember, I will always love you, my son._

**156. Z-Flesh**

It tastes a bit…odd. Musky and too soft, any flavor drowned by the over-powering rot. Topax is rather disappointed by Z-flesh, she was hoping it would be more interesting. Sighing, she gestures for Cortel to dispose of the undead meat and returns to watching the 131st Company. She wonders what Z-flesh tastes like to humans, being an eldritch horror tends to warp one's sense of taste.

**157. Valentine's Day**

"Weeeeeeeeeell…that is one way for Johnny to show his affection for his girlfriend." Anegel said, eyelid twitching slightly as he surveyed Johnny's work.

"_I like it." _Rust replied, seeing absolutely nothing wrong with Johnny's attempt at romance.

"I'm not sure what to think." Sarge muttered, morbidly fascinated by the massive flaming heart made from various decapitated and re-deadified ghouls. "And I don't know if I really want to think about it either."

**158. Unusual Tastes**

"I'd totally hit on that."

"So would I. If her boobs where bigger. And she had red hair. And wasn't, you know…DEAD."

"What is wrong with them being dead?"

**159. Random Drop**

[Wild Zombie fainted! You gain 1000 exp. You gain Engagement Ring 1x, Dirty Wallet 1x, Cloth Rags 2x, Z-Flesh 4x, Broken Bones 4x.]

"No money. Again. Oh well, maybe the ring is worth something?"

**160. Typhlosion**

When Rust first received Arc, he was a tiny little Cyndaquil. Now, 70 levels, eight months, and about 2,000 dead ghouls later, Arc is more or less a physical god of FIRE and BURNING DEATH. WHICH WAS AWESOME.

Until General Whatshisface took Arc away and gave Rust another pathetic Pokemon to train.

**xXxXxXx**

**IN WHICH I HOCK UP RANDOM WORDS IN SEMI-COHERENT SENTENCES. **

**R&R** **If you are MANLY enough to do so. Or something like that. **


	16. U

**I do not own Voltaire, WWZ, Pokemon, whatever other reference I used**

**I do own Rust, Johnny, Sarge, Kamet, Mudkip the Swampert, my version of the RED Spy **

**Riffing: Yes, let's be MANLY. Or something. Overprotective Rust and Sarge are fun, and funny. Yes. Anway, on with the drabbles!**

**I NEED MORE UNFORTUANTE IMPLICATIONS. GIVE ME SUGGESTIONS. **

**xXxXxXx**

**161. Smile**

She had the most beautiful smile in the world, bright and full of hope.

He hated her smile, and said so regularly. Harsh words never bothered her though, and she always replied that _he_ should smile, because then the world would be a better place. He never did smile for her though, to her endless disappointment.

So when she was infected, and that brilliant smile crumbled, he laughed and laughed and finally smiled back.

**162. Guard Duty**

No matter what the season, the weather, and the ghoul concentration, guard duty is always boring.

Always.

**163. Transfer**

Johnny started out in AGN, because he thought that the snow and ice would make his job easier. Then he endured his first AGN winter. Immediately after the weather calmed down enough to allow travel he transferred to AGS. Cause fuck it, he refused to work in an environment where the weather would kill him more easily than Zack.

**164. Guinea Pig**

When killing Gs became boring, Rust settled down with Sarge and opened a guinea pig farm. Sarge often questioned the reasoning behind raising guinea pigs, until he saw how damn fast the little cavies where.

While they do sell the guinea pigs for meat, Rust enjoys raising the little piggies as pets, much to Sarge's amusement.

Johnny, when he visits, swears the ginpigs have picked up Rust's habits. Of course, the fact that Rust trained his favorite ginpigs to warn him whenever a G gets too close reinforces the idea.

**165. OMG**

Now stands for "observed, multiple ghouls", with an implied "kill the fuckers now" tacked on the end.

**166. Canon Pairing**

Man, Rust and Sarge have been in existence for less than two years, and already I've paired them up? Geeze, oh well. At least Rust and Sarge aren't trying to jump into each other's pants all the time. That would be just awkward. Kinda like with RED Spy. But we don't talk about him much.

**167. Flu**

A sick Rust is a miserable Rust, and when Rust is miserable, everyone is. So when Rust gets sick, everyone more or less throws responsibility to Sarge. Sure, protocol demands that they help care for the lieutenant, but most of the soldiers would prefer to keep their reproductive organs right where they are.

**168. Possibilities**

He could have been a monster, using his bloodthirsty troops to carve out an empire from ghoul infested East.

He could have been a savior, a brilliant beacon of hope and valor, leading his troops to victory after victory till the undead plague was no more.

He is Captain Sylvia, fondly watching over his men, half formed memories flickering through his mind. Perhaps it is for the best that he does not shine.

**169. Rocks**

Johnny thinks that Rust is like obsidian, all sharp edges and oddly fragile; also oddly alluring in a dark, brittle kind of way, not that he is gay or anything. Johnny thinks Sarge is like a sun warmed river rock, worn and comfortable to be around, radiating safety like a gentle glow. Not to say that Sarge is harmless, river rocks are extremely dangerous in their own right, especially when dropped from a distance.

**170. The Day of the Dead**

It has a slightly different meaning now.

**171. Swampert **

"_Here you go Johnny."_

"M-mudkip? B-but I didn't want to evolve him…"

"_He is so much better this way. See? Swampert, Hyper Beam."_

"Arghkldj…WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY MUDKIP?"

"_Made him better. Now he kills Gs in one hit."_

"I hate you so much right now."

**172. Meat Hook**

It's really odd and not at all what Johnny was expecting when he cautiously opened the supermarket meat locker.

Two dozen human bodies, impaled on meat hooks, dripping frost and blackened gore.

It's only after the K-9 attachment confirms that none of the bodies were infected that he throws up. Rust only looks interested, commenting that this must have been the food source for the crazed survivors they had killed earlier.

Sarge gives the lieutenant a disturbed look, while gently rubbing Johnny's back as the PFC breaks out into hoarse sobs, vomit slowly freezing on the floor. As he comforts Johnny, Sarge snaps orders to have the bodies removed and given a proper burial.

Rust adds that the meat hooks should be taken down as well, no point in wasting good steel after all.

**173. Archery**

It's really not a useful skill in the Zombie War, most archers lack the precision and strength required to send an arrow straight through a G's skull. Only the best of the best can reliably kill Zack, which doesn't help at all, considering how long it takes to become one of the best of the best.

**174. Song**

Rust has an unhealthy tendency to start singing "Cannibal Buffet" by Voltaire whenever large numbers of Gs are sighted.

Johnny thinks it's really freaky.

Kamet thinks it's hilarious.

Sarge thinks that both Rust and Kamet should be committed to asylums when the war is over. Or not, considering that life would be boring without them.

**175. Clueless**

"HOLY FUCK WE ARE IN TROUBLE."

"_Stop being hysterical, it's only a couple dozen Zack. Should be able to kill them all yourself."_

"Sure, IF WE WEREN'T OUT OF AMMO. AND OUR LOBOS WEREN'T AT THE BOTTOM OF THE SWAMP. AND WE WEREN'T SINKING INTO QUICKSAND."

"…_that's a problem?"_

**176. Glue**

"And we found out that it is indeed possible to make glue out of boiled down ghoul bones, tendons, and cartilage. However, despite tests showing that the ghoul glue is quite strong and decay resistant, nobody is willing to actually use it."

**177. Infectious**

Every human with an ego thinks they're special. That they are the one who is resistant to the Z-virus, that they are the one who will be cured before it's too late. Stupid.

It makes Kamet retch, as morally ambiguous as he is, to see the _things_ that people do in attempts to save themselves. Just because they think they're somehow _important_, loathsome idea it is.

How many hundreds of organs have to be wasted, before people realize that swapping infected organs for fresh organs doesn't work? How many children raped, mutilated, and cannibalized before humanity smartens up as a whole? How many hours of work are wasted on people who can't accept their fates, who _dare_ consider themselves worthwhile?

Too many is the answer.

Thankfully, he can help remedy this problem. In his own special way.

"Lieutenant, the survivors were exposed to the Z-virus recently. I had them put down. That isn't a problem is it?"

"_Ehn? If they were infected then you did as you were supposed to. You don't need to keep asking Doctor."_

"Just checking, Lieutenant."

It's not really a wonder that the 131st company has the lowest rescue rate of any company in the AGS.

**178. Dreams**

Rust dreams that he isn't an earthbound human. That he has an actual name, not some word that has no real meaning to him. He dreams that he doesn't have to fight ghouls everyday of his life, doesn't have to worry about his men and his captain.

Rust dreams of a world where he has _friends_, peers who are equal to him in every way. Not the depthless puppets that surround him now.

But when he wakes, he finds that his life is the same.

Dreams are not real after all.

**179. Babysitter**

8:45 pm, January XX, 19XX

"Alex, you think monsters are real?" Johnny asked, 8 year old voice trembling slightly, unaware that in 11 years he would be fighting ghouls on a daily basis.

"No, Johnny. Now go to sleep like a good boy okay?"

"But I'm afraid!"

"Johnny, those monsters in the movie aren't real."

"But…"

"Look, I'll sit here with you and keep you safe okay?"

"Okay. G'night."

"Goodnight."

**180. Legendary Dogs**

The Legendary Dogs are utter douchebags.

Entei spends all his time pining over some girl named Molly. Instead of, you know, actually being helpful and killing Zombies like the rest of the Pokemon population.

Raikou isn't actually all that bad. He has an excuse, with all the thunderstorms from volcanic fallout and nuclear winter he's too hyped up to be any help to anyone.

Suicune thinks that helping humans and mortal Pokemon is below someone of her beauty and status. Which is utter bullshit, but nobody has been able to convince her otherwise. The bitch.

**xXxXxXx**

**Well, that took a while to write, though school did factor in a bit. **

**R&R if it pleases you. **


	17. L

**I do not own WWZ or TF2**

**I do own my Ocs**

**Dedicated to my own Sarge**

**Prompt: L is for Love, Lies, and Laziness**

**xXxXxXx**

Love

You take the worst in me and accept it all

All those thorns and spines

Don't phase you, it's just a risk you say

Keeping me is worth the struggles and pain

I would laugh and turn away

Sending you on your way

But I don't want to be alone

Not anymore, not today

Those words, the ones you whisper

To me when I cling so tight

Burning me, saving me

Giving me worth, giving me life

If what you say is a lie

Even that is fine

I rather have tasted false love once

Then not tasted love at all

I am all yours then

All yours till you don't want me anymore

**xXxXxXx**

Lies

It was a muggy summer day when Sarge asked the first time. He had been sweating in the bright sunlight, cursing the Brass for sending him and the company into a desert. There hadn't been a ghoul attack in days, though everyone had seen various desiccated corpses littering the rocky ground.

"Rust, do you have someone back home?" The sergeant's face had been oddly blank, voice trying to achieve a mildly curious tone and failing rather hilariously.

"_What? No."_

"Really? I would have thought..."

"_No one wants a broken toy, Sarge."_

The second time Sarge had asked they had been in the middle of a swamp sweep. He had been talking with Captain Sylvia, discussing possible strategies for making sure that the swamp floor was truly ghoul free.

"Excuse me Sir, but may I have a word with Lieutenant Rust?"

"Go ahead, Sarge." Sylvia had looked a tad puzzled but amicably backed away, giving the men their privacy.

"_What." _He had been rather impatient that day, irritated by flying insects and a sleepless night.

"Rust, do you care about someone?" Sarge had sounded a little strained when he had said that. Eyes lowered and shoulders tense, a reaction that he had never seen in the sergeant before.

"_Besides myself?"_

"Besides yourself."

"_Maybe." _He had not dared say much more, frightened by the unspoken plea in Sarge's voice.

The third and last time that Sarge asked, it had been a pleasant fall day, the thick layer of fallen leaves informing everyone of when a ghoul approached.

"Rust?"

"_Hmmm?" _He had been distracted by the twirling motion of leaves as they fell to the ground.

"Do you care about me?"

"_No._" The words had slipped from his mouth before he had even realized what the other man had said. The look of hurt on Sarge's face had caused his fractured soul to ache, but he would not take back the words.

"I...I've got to..." Sarge had stopped then, studying his studiously blank expression. "One of these days, I'll figure out when you are lying."

"_Good luck with that."_

"Jackass."

"_That is why you care about me."_

**xXxXxXx**

Laziness

J: SHE FORGOT ABOUT US AGAIN.

R: What do you expect?

J: Some attention? She forgot about us for three months. THREE MONTHS.

S: Well...that is better than what Spy and the rest of the TF2 cast has to deal with.

J: …?

S: Let's just say that we get updated fairly regularly compared to them. Not to mention that Spy has turned into a complete psychopath.

R: I was under the impression that he was always a psychopath.

S: Well, let's just say that when I knew him he was much less "creepy stalker" and more "cool professional".

J: But she does that with everyone! Except Rust, who is actually less crazy than when he first showed up. It must be nice to be the Creator's favorite character in this crappy universe.

R: Ehn.

S: Kamet, are you gonna say anything?

K: Besides that she is actually going to talk with us for once? No.

C: Well, seems that Johnny doesn't like me at all nyah? Not that I can blame you. I have kinda been ignoring you guys. But I had and have better things to do.

J: LIKE WHAT?

C: Video games, study, sleep, the usual.

R: Calm down Johnny, at least she is happy.

S: True.

K: You did really think that the implied romance between Rust and Sarge is a subtle way to show that you have a boyfriend finally?

C: Nope. But what does that matter?

K: It creeps me out.

C: Cause I made you into a sociopath, so of course you find it creepy. Anyway, do you want me to explain why I as ignoring you guys or not?

K: Please do.

R: ...this will be good.

C: Okay anyway, so back story required. My friend RT started dating this girl KC, which made everyone happy cause RT is the kinda guy who gets trolled by women all the time.

J: Trolled?

C: Well, he isn't that great at picking up women. .

R: That is quite the understatement.

C: Shush, or I'm never gonna tell you what I do during the day. But anyway, he ended up dating KC for a week before she broke up with him.

J: Ouch. That has gotta sting.

C: Yah, but then she started hitting on every other guy in the table. Which is pretty much everyone but me and three other girls. Which pissed off my friend SG cause KC tried to get together with her fiance.

K: Did they fight?

C: No, but I wish they did, SG would snap KC in half with one hand. I would have loved to see that.

R: ...are you going to daydream or keep explaining?

C: Ah, right, so KC started hitting on everyone including my friend JD. Who I hadn't seen a while. And I was like "I really don't like KC. Wait...what?"

K and R: You are an idiot.

S: Don't be mean, it isn't like you two aren't stupid sometimes.

C: So I went and became JD's girlfriend...somehow. I have no idea, it just happened. But either way, FUCK YOU KC YOU WHINY BITCH. I R THE WINNAR FOR ONCE. WOOOOOHOOOOOOO!

J: …

R: …

S: …

K: …right...

C: Anyway, I gotta do a lab report now, so yah.

J: We have the weirdest Creator ever.

R: …I agree with that statement.

**xXxXxXx**

**So not really about WWZ, but I felt like posting it. I hope to post more stuff soon though. **


	18. S

**I do not own WWZ, Pokemon, The Lonely Island, Zombie Jesus, Type of the Dead or any other reference**

**I do own Topax, Rust, Sarge, Johnny and my other Ocs**

**xXxXx**

**181. Triple Battle**

Rust has an obsession with using two Zebstrika and a Jolteon. All the Jolteon does it spam Discharge while the Zebstrika use Overheat until everything in area is reduced to ash. Just as a note, both Zebstrika have the ability Lightening Rod.

Overkill for just a few ghouls? Maybe, but one can't be too careful.

**182. Spork**

In the zombie stabbing category, forks are far more useful.

**183. I JUST HAD SEX**

"_What. Is. Johnny. Singing."_

"Um...some song by a group called Lonely Island, sir."

"_Anegel, you have ten seconds to make PFC Johnny shut up. Or you will need a new battle partner."_

"A WOMAN LET ME PUT MY PENIS INSIDE HEEEEEEEEER..."

**184. Paper Lilies**

"I'm sorry Annie. I wish I could put real flowers on your grave, but it is so hard to find some. It snowed in the desert today. It snowed! Can you believed that? But that killed the cactus flowers, so I made these for you. I hope you like them."

**185. Leather**

"We have found that it is indeed possible to make leather out of skin removed from ghouls. However, due to the toxicity of the skin and the horrible connotations associated with ghoul skin, we have decided to torch all samples and ritually cleanse the facility."

"So that is why the warehouse is on fire."

**186. Rite of Passage**

The population of New York Sky City often has their youth spend a week living on the ground, to impress upon the ungrateful teens how lucky they are to live above the ever wandering ghouls. Sure, a few die every year, but those that survive are most thankful.

**187. Dystopia**

The world is overrun by ghouls, though a few warring factions of humanity continue to exist. Nuclear winter continues to preserve ghouls, making it unlikely that humanity will ever be free of the undead blight.

**188. Murder**

"It has been ruled by the court that purposely infecting any human with the Z-Virus is considered murder. If the infection was accidental, all parties implicated will be charged with manslaughter."

**189. Jesus**

"_He was a zombie."_

"What? How can you say that Rust!"

"_He came back after dying. Zombie."_

"He was the Son of God."

"_A god that we all agree is a sadistic bastard at best and an apathetic asshole at worst."_

"I...why do I even talk to you?"

**190. Wanted**

"Hey, Johnny, honey, doesn't this guy in the newpaper look a lot like your old sergeant?"

"Yah...odd, why is Sarge on a wanted poster?"

Someplace in the Mid-Western United States...

"_Told you that you should have checked more carefully for survivors."_

"Shut up Rust."

**191. Jealousy**

"Where the fuck are we gonna get rid of this body? Amber! This was _your_ idea!"

"I'm thinking..."

"Thinking! We gotta get rid of it now! It's getting dark and I don't wanna be caught out after curfew again!"

"Let's just leave it by the road then."

"Are you crazy! We can't just..."

"The biters will take care of the body for us, stupid! Now help me get it out of the car."

**192. Choice I**

What will you do when that last taste of sweetness is gone from your life? When all that you can see, taste, and smell is the rotting flesh of the undead.

Is it worth it to stay alive? When every night you dream of those you have failed.

**193. Type of the Dead**

"_I. Hate. This. System."_

"That is just cause you suck at it Rust." Johnny sighed, rubbing his forehead before typing in the phrase 'Lose All Hope' into his keyboard. "For someone who has memorized all the Pokemon type weaknesses and what type a particular Pokemon is, I'm kinda surprised that you can't type all that well."

"_Memory and muscle memory are two different things." _The lieutenant pulled out his handgun and shot a zombie that had been about to bite him. "_Fuck this. I'm giving this thing to Surge, he's better at it."_

"Yaaaaaah...that would probably be a good idea."

**194. Game**

Pale hands placed a hunched-over figure on the game board. The statuette had a twisted look on it's rotting face, supernatural fire burning in it's shrunken eyes. Several more figures, all similar to the first, where placed on the board at various positions.

"Interesting, sure you wanna do that? You are leaving a lot up to chance you know." Gleeful brown eyes counted the number of figures, "Those aren't nearly enough to do any damage."

"Topax, I assure you that these pieces will cause far more damage than you think. Your pieces are merely human, what can they possibly do against my undead troops?" Pale hands elegantly wove themselves together, providing a resting place for an equally pale-skinned face. "Unless you empower your pawns, which you are forbidden to do according to our contract, of course."

"Oh...right. Forgot about that." Topax grinned a bit sheepishly,"that makes things a bit more difficult." Tilting her head to the side, she frowned and pulled her hair free of its ponytail. Two long tendrils extended themselves and touched the game board. At first nothing happened, then a dark stain spread across the field before blending into the etched and stained wood. The tendrils withdrew, not leaving a single mark on the game board.

"And what was the point of that? You can't have given them those 'Pokemon' as you did last time, since you are forbidden from doing that as well. Will you explain to me, my dear?"

A creamy, self satisfied smile graced Topax's face as she toyed with the idea of not saying anything, but in the end her ego won out. Just as he thought it would.

"Well, let's just say you never said anything about me directly fucking with your pieces. My beloved older brother." There was a hint of spite in Topax's voice.

"Clever, but you are incapable of negatively effecting my pawns without giving them something positive in return. So what have you done sister?"

"I'm not telling youuuuuuuuuuuu~"

"Do not test my patience, you are here only because I allow it. Unless you wish to go back to your cell you will tell me."

"Jackass. I eliminated the breakage meter. Basically your undead won't ever destroy themselves because of wear and tear, they will still decompose though."

"My pawns have a 100% infection rate, by preventing muscle tearing you are destroying one of your major advantages." One slim eyebrow arced, as if wondering if his sister had suddenly gone mad.

"Hold on, I haven't told you the negatives yet. Idiot. Since getting rid of the breakage meter is a big plus for you, I used all those points to decrease your unit strength, defense and speed to human levels with an 80% reduction to dexterity and accuracy. Also I dropped intelligence to zero."

"How did you get enough power to..."

"I saved about 25% of the points that I got from last game just in-case I needed them to fuck with you." She admitted, looking rather pleased with herself.

"As clever as you are, you still haven't found a way to free yourself from my clutches, I find that rather amazing."

"Ehn, whatever. You can't send me back until you actually beat me anyway. So let's hurry up and play."

**195. Nursery Rhyme**

"When the ghouls come out and play/girls and boys should run away/to live and fight another day."

**196. Blacksmith**

Suddenly a popular profession. It might be the constant supply of work, or the sense of power that working with iron gives, but really most of the appeal lies in being able to forge your own zombie killing weapons.

**197. Lazy**

"America will never be clean of the undead. Not because the country is so large, but because we aren't through. How many times have we missed a ghoul lying on ground, hidden by tall grass? Ten, fifteen? Maybe even a hundred. The French have cleaned out their cities, catacombs, and underground water ways. The British have done the same with their underground passageways and cities. Hell, even the Russians has managed to create completely safe zones for their people to live in.

And what about us? Huh? What about us? I can't let my children play near lakes or rivers in fear that there might be a ghoul waiting below the surface. A night the community gates close and we have armed patrols guarding the walls. Every morning there are some ghouls to burn, every single morning. What does that say about us, as a people? Are we too lazy, to actually clean up our own mess?"

**198. Cannibalism**

"You know, we wouldn't have a problem with zombies if you would just eat your dead!"

**199. Shower**

From the looks of the blood tinged water, scraps of flesh, gnawed bones, and viscous black goo scattered in the puddles like fruit in jello, who ever had been in the shower hadn't had any time to fight back.

**200. Jungle Gym**

When Sarge first met Rust, the lieutenant had been standing on top of a playground structure and shooting the ghouls that where drawn in by a baring radio.

As bizarre as it sounds, jungle gyms without steps are really quite good for providing a defensive position in a pinch.

They are built to withstand children after all.

**xXxXx**

**Another set done. I'll be needing some inspiration, so don't be shy to send me ideas!**


	19. Poetry

**I do not own WWZ**

**I do own my OCs: Sarge, Rust, Johnny, Kamet, Marcus Alistar Rosen, and Granite**

**Been a while since my last update for WWZ drabbles. Just had no inspiration. But now I'm on a poetry trip, so there. **

**XxXxXxX**

**Alphabet**

A is for agony, you suffer right now

B is for bastard, you scream and you yell

C is for cursing, cursing your fate

D is for death, your very next state

E is for elbow, where you got bit

F is for fever, you start to get sick

G is for gruesome, that festering wound

H is for heat, from your forehead does bloom

I is for Isaac, who left you this way

J is for justice, you'll make him pay

K is for killing, what you will do

L is for later, when you don't feel so blue

M is for mood, so unstable and low

N is for nervous-oh, it's just a doe

O is for organs, failing each day

P is for panic, as time slips away

Q is for quit, your legs crumple and fold

R is for river, you fall into below

S is for savior, not one in sight

T is for time, cut short by this plight

U is for under, under the sea

V is for very, you're very hungry

W is for wonder, your wandering bears fruit

X is for X-large, the size of his suit

Y is for yield, like the flesh under your teeth

Z is for zombie, you love being this thing!

**Haiku (5,7,5)**

Unfeeling dead flesh

Leaves fall, crushed by its slow tread

Soon to be at peace

- Sarge

A wrench, to the face

Bone makes funny crunching sounds

This is too much fun

- Johnny

Black ooze, rotten meat

No feelings of pain or fear

Not fun to dissect

- Kamet

Stupid dead female

Trying hard to eat my foot

Your head explodes now

- Rust

Boring guard duty

I want a bottle of scotch

Molotov cocktails

- Anegel

**Report**

General Marcus Alistar Rosen hates having to read reports. Especially the reports from the 131st Company, and not because the reports are boring.

No, it's cause the 131st company has a wonderful way of _not_ explaining what they've done in written words. Like saying that they found an abandoned base, when they've actually massacred the former inhabitants, thereby making the base abandoned. Sure, the former inhabitants are usually some warlord or anti-government psychos, but they're supposed to give people a chance to rejoin society.

He growls at the innocence post-it in front of him, with the numbers "131" written across the top in block print and the words "Reports will be delivered at 1500 hours". The water with generic artificial flavoring added isn't enough to get him through reading the 131st Company's latest reports. He needs coffee.

Which also means he had to get up and go to the communal coffee dispenser two floors below him. A blessing, since he's been sitting in a chair all day and needs to stretch. Standing up, he grabs his coffee mug and walks out the door, leaving a note saying that he'll be back in ten minutes.

As he walks down the hallway to the stairs, he passes the offices that his fellow officers inhabit. It's odd, working inside of a prison, but it's so well defended that he could care less.

"Rosen, taking a break?" It's Admiral Victor Granite, one of his best friends. He smiles when he sees that Granite is holding an empty coffee mug of his own.

"Yes. Going to get coffee."

Granite's eyebrows raise at that. Rosen is known for hating everything about coffee, including the fact that it exists in the first place. It's also well known that Rosen only drinks coffee when dealing with things so unpleasant/horrific that only the taste of his least favorite substance in the world will preserve his sanity. "And why are you doing that?"

"Because a wonderful event will happen."The general deadpans. "The 131st Company's reports are coming in today."

Granite very nearly recoils in horror, a bad idea since they're walking down the narrow prison steps. "You poor man." His face becomes sympathetic and he pats his friend on the shoulder. "What do you think they've done this time?"

"I rather not think about it."

"I understand. But you remember the time that they sent us a half-grown badger with their report?" Both men can't help but laugh at the memory. "I don't even want to know how they caught the little bastard in the first place."

The two men continue to chuckle as they make their way to the coffee dispenser. The badger that the 131st Company sent is currently napping below the table that the dispenser is sitting on. Rosen takes a moment to admire the overgrown weasel, she's become a handsome creature compared to the starving thing that was shipped to him in a box.

Granite fills his cup first and takes a sip, enjoying the instant brew despite how low quality it is. "What else have they done? Besides sent us a badger, set fire to a swamp, and killed an unknown number of people."

"You're forgetting that they made defensive tower out of Legos that actually worked." Rosen comments dryly, pouring several packets of sugar and instant creamer into his coffee. "And the boxes of water hemlock in teabags that they keep sending us."

The admiral rolls his eyes. "They at least label those, though the notes that say we should use them to assassinate our enemies are kind of creepy. Come on, we should get back to work."

As the pair reach the third story walkway, they are confronted by the sight of a pile of wooden crates, all with air holes in the sides and the numbers "131" burned into them. A group of soldiers stand to the side, looking nervously at the stack, hands wrapped tightly around their SIRs.

Rosen can swear that he just hear something growling from inside one of the crates.

"It was good knowing you Rosen. I'll make sure to send your remains to the 131st so you can haunt them for all eternity." Granite gives the general a brilliant smile, claps him on the back, and promptly flees.

He stares at the retreating back of his friend and sighs, worriedly eyeing the wriggling stack of crates. A sheet of paper catches his eye, and he takes it. It has the words "Report" scribbled on the top in Rust's hand writing and very simply reads "We found another abandoned base. Then we caught a pack of F-lions, Sylvia won't let us kill them. Watch your fingers. Signed, the 131st".

General Marcus Alistar Rosen _really _hates the 131st's reports.

**XxXxXxX**

**The poetry was the fun part. Though I admit that Marcus Alistar Rosen is my new buttmonkey character. Johnny will still be tortured though. **


	20. Dragger

**I do not own WWZ**

**I do own Rust and my other Ocs**

**Not much to say this time. Kind of burned out from getting sick and having to deal with college stuff. **

**xXxXxXx**

**201. Benefits**

Kamet is the reason why the 131st company has strict procedures on verifying whether or not a human is infected.

He is also the reason why the rescue rate of the 131st company is so low.

At least the soldiers have plenty of practice in disposing of dead bodies.

**202. Emotion**

Rust is prone to bouts of extreme depression.

On days when he is depressed, the lieutenant lies on his cot and sulks, mind stewing in a state of semi-sanity. This of course, has caused problems, but nothing so problematic that it has cost anyone their lives.

While unprofessional, there has not been one person to dare try and force Rust to work on his offdays. The very idea of doing so is completely improbable, not even Sarge is willing to try.

Especially since the last man who tried ended up dead in a very unpleasant fashion.

**203. Kill**

His first kill was at age 12, completely accidental. How was he supposed to know that other children couldn't hold their breaths as long as him?

His first intentional kill was at age 13, barely four months after the drowning. The girl he killed had deserved it, for reasons he cannot remember. He had, however, been violently sick afterwards. His parents chalked it up to trauma from having to endure two deaths in such a short period of time.

The first kill he took pride in was when he was 28, a year and a half after the world had gone to Hell. He had met a nice family, struggling to survive in the ghoul infested dystopia, and rescued them from being devoured. Their heartfelt thanks made watching the looks of utter horror and despair on the family's faces as he strangled them one by one was the most satisfying thing he ever did.

His last kill was also the first time he failed to kill his victim. The difference was that that time, his victim had been the one hunting him.

**204. Prey**

Seeing Johnny fight against ghouls alone, is like watching a rabbit trying to evade an old and crippled dog. He's far more likely to kill himself through breaking a limb than actually being caught by a ghoul's physical prowess.

**205. Boring**

"Honestly, once you have sniffer dogs, bite-proof BDUs, SIRs, and unlimited ammo the zombie apocalypse gets kind of boring.

"_Too over-leveled?"_

"Yup. It just isn't fun anymore."

**206. Ring**

"_Explain to me why we are digging through the stomachs of dead ghouls." _Rust honestly doesn't have a problem playing with dead bodies, he's just complaining on principle.

"Cause I can't get married without one." Johnny a snaps, digging frantically through the organs, trying to see if he can catch a glimpse of something shiny and golden.

"You could just have one made by the blacksmith." Sarge, Kamet thinks, is way too relaxed. It's one thing to have Rust (and himself) to be happily playing with dead bodies, but having Sarge be so calm is kind of unnerving.

"But it won't be an actual diamond ring!" Kamet winces slightly at the slightly hysterical tone, but he has no sympathy for the former soldier. Serves Johnny right for not going ring hunting earlier.

His own corpse yields nothing more than a few plastic beads and piles of rotting flesh. Nothing helpful, but he'll be keeping the beads, they might prove useful in the future.

Rust stops poking through the stomach contents of the corpse in front of him, a look of thoughtful speculation crossing his face. Kamet waits, knowing that something interesting is about to transpire, something always does when Rust gets that look. "_Johnny, do you even know her ring size?"_

Johnny's only response is an empathetically screamed, "Fuck!"

**207. Car **

"Does Rust even know how to drive?"

"...I'm not sure."

"_Which pedal is the brake? I forgot."_

"We're all gonna die, aren't we?"

"Alright, who's bright idea was it to let Rust drive?"

**208. Allergies**

Sorry, you'll just have to suffer through your hay/pet dander/pollen allergy. We don't have the time or resources to make allergy medications, but as a consultation prize, you'll be put on guard duty with someone who can actually breathe/see/smell.

**209. Fertilizer**

"I am dead serious. Quislings cannot be rehabilitated, they are a drain on our limited resources, and the California soil is depleted from growing food for the living population. This plan with solve several problems in one fell swoop. This is not a time to take the moral high ground. Just sign the paper, my men and I will do all the dirty work. Remember, this is so that we as a people can survive."

**210. Horse Shoe**

It's mandatory to shoe your horse for two reasons. A) it protects your horse's hoofs and B) horses with shoes have an easier time crushing ghoul heads.

**211. Religion**

Rust is agnostic.

Johnny is Christian (in the loosest sense of the term).

Sarge is Buddhist (his mother was one of the New Age types).

Anegel is Catholic (in the loosest sense of the term).

Sylvia doesn't have enough characterization to count.

Kamet worships some sort of Eldritch God

**212. Naming**

"Somy wife wants our kid to be name Evelyn if its a girl and Evan if its a boy."

"_I like Alara better."_

"My kid, not yours."

"..."

"Okay, okay. Alara can be the kid's middle name. Okay? Please stop glaring at me like that Rust. Please?"

**213. Gold**

A soft, malleable metal sometimes useful in electronic manufacturing. Used to be highly valued, before the Z War.

**214. Pendulum**

"I don't think that pendulums work that way...not that I'm complaining. Always nice to have another way to detect legless ghouls."

**215. Stop Gap**

"That is just sick." Surge mutters, eyeing the half eaten corpse. The young woman apparently had her throat slit and her body shoved into a gap in the defenses around the base. "Now I'm glad I let Rust kill those fuckers."

**216. Gamer**

"OH GOD IT'S A TANK. RUUUUUUN."

"_No more L4D for you."_

**217. Gamer's****Physique **

Not even being a zombie will make flabby gaming nerds intimidating.

**218. Hido**

"_What do you have today?"_

"Some bottles of Penicillin. A few boxes of concentrated willow bark. Some cotton mouth rattlesnake anti-venom. That's about it."

"…_We'l__l take all the anti-venom and Penicillin."_

"Like usual huh?"

"_Price?"_

"Get rid of the crazy fuckers who've been killing my snakes and trying to steal my horse, a box of mac and cheese, and a 38-inch string of star ruby beads."

"..._why the ruby beads?"_

"Cause I feel like it."

"..._We'l__l get rid of the 'c__razy fuckers', you can have a crate of mac and cheese, and a 12-inch strand of star ruby beads."_

"...is it Kraft?"

"_Yah."_

"Then we have a deal!"

"_Crazy as ever..."_

**219. Luster**

Some people shine brilliantly in the ghoul war, spirits polished to glimmering perfection by the hardships of daily life. The question is though, do they glitter with the cold light of a deadly weapons or do they shimmer with the dull light of steel walls?

**220. Burns**

"_He got those burns saving a feral from a burning building. I respect him for it. He's a better man than I will ever be. So don't you _fucking _dare bad mouth him. Or we'll see just how high your pain tolerance is."_


	21. Lurker

**I do not own WWZ**

**I do own my Ocs**

**Updates are gonna be pretty erratic, though you guys probably noticed that already, especially now that I'm gonna be transferring this coming Fall and trying to move at the same time. **

**Another twenty prompts, some a little more crazy than others. Enjoy. **

**A full narrative is in the works, though it'll be a while before I get the story down. **

**XxXxXxX**

**221. Ravine**

Children are told to stay away from the shallow ravine down by Weeping Willow Creek. However, children being children, they play there anyway, pretending to be knights and dragons and all manner of fantastic beings. The ravine is their castle, their mysterious dungeon, and their hide-away.

What the children do not know is that a scant handful of feet from their playing forms, in a hidden niche of the "castle" lies a crippled menace. It's legs are broken off at the knees and it's arms are too crushed for movement; all it can do is lie on the ground, flesh kept moist by a thin rivulet. Yet it is still dangerous, waiting patiently for one curious child to find it and unleash the horror of its kind upon the world once again.

**222. Hive Mind**

"It is my theory that all zombies share a single mind. However, that single mind has to stretch its processing power and cognitive abilities to control millions of bodies, rendering any intelligence or planning capabilities moot."

**223. Reality Ensues**

"...Did all the ghouls just rot into dust?"

**224. Fear**

All people freeze up when they see their first ghoul. No one knows why, but some speculate it is because ghouls are so completely _unnatural_ that the human mind goes into a state of shock. Of course, the difference between survivors and being undead yourself is whether or not you can snap out of that state before you get bitten.

**225. Boy**

He's all alone, hiding in his uncle's little shop. The doors are locked and the shutters drawn, the cast iron bars blocking the windows from the outside keep the monsters at bay. His uncle is one of the monsters, constantly clawing at the door, wanting in. He doesn't open the door though, he can't since the steel door is too heavy for him to move. He wants to go out though, he's really thirsty.

Even the toilet doesn't have water anymore...

**226. Goo**

The not-blood that saturates the bodies of ghouls is a mysterious substance. Too gelatinous to be a liquid, too watery to be a solid, and too..._wrong_ to be a colloid. What purpose does it serve? Keep ghouls from falling apart? Maybe protect them from the pressures of the deep ocean? Prevent freezer burn? No one knows.

**227. Dilute**

A one to one ratio of water to ghoul "blood" will kill a human after several hours of suffering, but will not reanimate the body unless there is an open wound for the Z-virus to enter the bloodstream.

A ten to one ratio will kill a human, but will not reanimate the body even if there is an open wound for the virus to enter.

A one hundred to one ratio is safe for human consumption, but only in small amounts, a pint or less within a 24-hour period.

A one thousand to one ratio is safe for human consumption in any amount.

…Or so everyone hopes.

**228. Plague**

"_The ghouls are locust and humanity is the field of grain...only some of us have thorns and bite back."_

**229. Farm**

There are ghoul farms, small ones, out of sight and reach of the public eye. Manned by scientists and government officials determined to find out everything about ghouls. It's a risky business, especially with all the renegade zombie killers roaming around the wilderness.

**230. Bathroom**

People go to the bathroom in groups.

It's a safety thing, since there aren't any real restrooms when traveling around the wilderness.

Showing your naked ass to everyone else is vastly preferable to being bitten cause you weren't paying attention.

**231. Command**

"If you want to live, you'll do as I say." He hisses, eyes dark with repressed rage and the barest hint of madness. "So shut the brat up. His crying is going to bring a whole fucking swarm down on us. And if you can't get him to.." The brilliant silver of polished steel flashes in the moonlight. "I'll _make _him quiet."

**232. Tolerance**

Not a good trait to have these days, with all the undead horrors and stupid people shambling about. Especially cause of the the stupid people, who often believe the most idiotic things that will get the rest of the more intelligent people killed.

**233. Badger**

"..._is that a badger?"_

"Yup."

"_Why is it in a cage."_

Johnny's face wrinkles in confusion, much like a shar pei. "...I don't know? Cause the captain said so?"

"_Eh...good enough for me. Let's send it to General Rosen."_

"Why?"

"_Cause I feel like it."_

"Oh. Okay then.

And that is how General Marcus Alistar Rosen got a badger in the mail.

**234. Broken**

She's not sure what is going on. Why is daddy moving again? Daddy has a giant hole in his stomach, he should be dead. But he's moving. Coming closer. Grabbing her leg with cold _sick wrong scary _hands and pulling _closer closer no closer please no closer_ and dragging himself across the floor _leaving red-black goo mommy will be so mad it's icky make it go away. _Her body won't move _frozen stiff can't move can't move can't move so scared_ as her bladder empties _warm flowing soaking into my clothes _while daddy ever so slowly sinks his teeth into her ankle and rips _HURTS hurts hurts hurts daddy stop please it hurts no don't _out a mouthful of her flesh.

Her blind terror keeps her from fainting, the adrenaline flowing through her body forcing her to stay conscious. This is no blessing, as it makes her last moments into nothing an unending parade of agony as daddy takes another bite out of her leg, filling her world with _painpainpainburninghurts. _She doesn't die until he's eaten her leg up to the mid-thigh, her own strangled horrified screams the last thing she hears as she slips into darkness.

**235. Lunch**

"Alert. Alert. Ghouls spotted in Section 3. Alert." The intercom blares, echoing through the concrete and steel walls of the factory. "All free workers report to Section 3. All free workers report to Section 3."

"Figures it would happen during lunch break." A denim clad woman grumbles, setting aside her sandwich and standing up.

"Eh...could be worse. Could have happened at the end of our shift." A man dressed in orange flannel replies, voice dry as he hands out SIRs taken from one of many racks mounted on the factory walls.

The woman grunts in reply, already heading toward Section 3, followed by many of her fellow workers.

Hopefully it's only a few ghouls so they can all go back to lunch.

**236. Honey**

Given that the world has been enveloped by nuclear winter, most people wouldn't think that there would by any bees left to make honey. Well, it turns out that honey bees managed to adapt quickly enough to the icy cold and harvest nectar from the few flowering plants left, which is good. The bad part is that the new species of honey bee are extremely aggressive and have smooth stingers allowing them to repeatedly stab any perceived threat to the colony. Also, they happen to be mildly poisonous and about the same size as half-grown mouse.

It makes harvesting honey rather unpleasant.

**237. Medications**

"You know. Rust should technically be on anti-depressants buuuuuut...anti-depressants aren't considered a 'necessity' so nobody makes them."

"...so _that's_ why Lt. Rust acts like a moody teenaged girl with PMS."

**238. Stickers**

"Captain..." Sarge sighs, eyes squeezed shut in a gesture of annoyed affection. "You can't use those to seal military missives." The sergeant mentally curses Rust for slipping off and leaving him to serve as the captain's babysitter. Again.

Sylvia gives him a bland look, mouth quirking up into a grin after a moment. "Of course I can. Using stickers is much more sanitary than licking the envelope edges. You can't know where these envelopes have been or who touched them." The mild, almost reasonable tone in the captain's voice makes Sarge's eyelid twitch ever-so-slightly. Sarge knows this tone of voice, and it usually precludes some sort of trouble.

"That still doesn't mean that you can use _bunny _stickers!"

**239. Haunted**

_What are you having? I want some! Oh wait...I can't have any cause I'm DEAD._

"Shut up." He mutters, a habitual response now, bagged lunch in hand as he looks for a table to sit at in the crowded temporary mess hall.

_What? And leave you alone? _ A mocking laugh that only he can hear rings out, broken by odd gurgles and wet coughs. _As if. _Her voice snarls, as clear as if she was standing next to him. He can almost feel her breath on his left ear, warm and fetid with rot.

He ignores her, sitting down resolutely and digging into his lunch. It's the same as every other lunch that he and his fellow soldiers have ever eaten. Bland, boring but filling and nutritionally complete. Her eyes -_one an empty bleeding socket- _bore into the back of his head, as if she is trying to kill him with near tangible weight of her hatred.

Her blood-thirsty ghost doesn't bother him though, she's just one of many.

**240. The Way Things Are**

"The world has to work that way! The strong repress the weak. The strong live the weak do not! Ca-cause...what else explains all the stuff that happened to us?"

**XxXxXxX**

**Prompts are always appreciated so feel free to PM me ideas. Thanks!**


	22. Legless

I do not own WWZ

I do own my OCs

I apologize for the long wait, but I am working on a full story for the 131st company. The first chapter should be up within a week.

**XxXxX**

**241. Lawns**

People have two kinds of lawns these days.

The first is the less common variety, a nice neatly manicured lawn with no bushes, high grass, or short trees. Makes it easier to see if any Zack are coming to pay you a visit.

The second, far more popular type, is basically not having a lawn at all. No grass, no bushes, no short trees, only nice tall trees with sniper perches and no place for any Zack to hide.

**242. Fate Worse than Death**

She rose from the river four days after she fell in, dead and rotting like the rest.

Dead, rotting, and aware of her state.

**243. Hips**

These days, it's important for women to have big hips.

After all, there isn't any place you can get a C-section if the baby doesn't want to come out the natural way.

**244. Obesity**

"You don't see any fat people around anymore. There a number of different reasons, not enough food, disease, but the main reason is Zack. I admit that the fat guys who actually tried to run had pretty nice deaths. Heart attacks are much less painful than being consumed alive."

**245. Alligator Gar**

They are utterly immune to Zack. It probably has something to do with being dinosaur-fish with near bullet-proof scales.

They are not, however, immune to starvation.

**246. Egypt **

There is a theory (admittedly not one that is kind to the Egyptian pantheon) that the first ghouls where children of Isis and Osiris after the god's resurrection.

**247. Contraception**

"_Do not. Do not give me that __**bullshit**__ that passes for 'reasonable religious objections'. Your daughter __**will **__get an IUD. You __**will **__do the same. This is __**not**__ a world that you can get pregnant and raise a child without extensive planning. You are a citizen of New Sunnyvale ma'am, and you will obey the laws or leave." _

**248. Thriller I**

As amazingly hilarious as it would be to see ghouls doing the famous dance, it isn't possible because dancing requires some level of coordination.

**249. Piercing**

People don't get them anymore, it just isn't practical or sanitary enough.

**250. Shingeki no Kyojin**

When all things are considered, Rust and the 131st company vastly prefer killing Zack to fighting Titans. The major reasons behind this choice all stem from familiarity, they much rather fight an enemy they understand.

**251. Boxer**

It is in fact possible to kill a ghoul by punching it really hard while wearing 8 ounce gloves. The problem with attempting this particular kill is that is really, really difficult to perform safely.

On the other hand, it looks really cool.

**252. Thriller II**

While the song is still played, the music video was completely re-shot. Some may say that doing so is a travesty against music, but the general population doesn't mind in the slightest.

No one who lived through the Great Panic and the Ghoul War can watch the original without being affected in some way.

**253. Sewing**

These days everyone knows how to sew. Being able to tailor your clothing is a necessary survival skill, both for ease of movement and to remove easy hand-holds.

**254. Sagging**

You know that annoying saggy pants trend? That disappeared _real quick_ once people started to smartened up during the Great Panic.

**255. Trailing**

"Now, I know that fashion designers are supposed to make unreasonably extravagant outfits, but this is just stupid."

"_Why is it longer in the front than in the back? What does it even do? Why does the drawing show three different layers under the first?"_

"The world will never know. Now let's keep moving, this house isn't completely cleaned out yet."

**256. Memory**

Eventually, Anegel knows, people will forget about the terrors of the Ghoul War.

What happens once the war becomes nothing but a fading memory is anyone's guess.

**257. IUD**

These days what passes for an IUD is the traditional t-shaped copper wire. Sure it hurts when it goes in and it doesn't do much for preventing PMS, but it is the most effective way to ensure that women don't get pregnant.

And don't give me that shit about not having sex, hard to never have sex when every outsider you meet could be a rapist.

**258. Sexually Transmitted Disease**

It's like the Middle Ages all over again, STDs everywhere.

**259. Long Hair**

It's so impractical that it's become a disturbingly popular fetish.

**260. Cardio**

People don't go for long runs around the country cause if you aren't careful you can end up will a little parade following you home.


End file.
